UK Trip

I am finally going to post about the UK trip after such a long hiatus :D

Okay, I am just going to do the summarized version, and pick out three really interesting (but not necessarily good) things that happened on the trip.

Basically UK was pretty fun. The scenery there was really nice :) Pictures cannot really make up for what a picture lacks as compared to when you see it with your own eyes. (Ain't that always true?) 

The food was actually okay for the first day. By the second day, it starts getting boring because the breakfast is always the same - bacon, sausage, eggs, sausage, bread, tomato or cornflakes and more bread. The food actually gets better towards the last few days when we get to eat food like yorkshire pudding (it's not really a pudding though) and pizza (yum!).

We also did a few walking tours where we visited parts of the town which had some connections to writers (literary places huh). It was really interesting to see the environment in which the writers grew up in. I guess life was also much more exciting for them then because most of them managed to gather inspiration from their own experiences and the environment around them! WOW. Pretty amazing uh. For example, there was this girl whose the friend of Jane in Jane Eyre who dies of typhus or TB (i'm not sure). It was a reference to Charlotte's sister, Anne, who dies due to the same illness. It is quite cool how subtle details all come together when you discover the history of the writers.

More places that I visited: Shakespeare's Globe theatre, Anne Hathaway's cottage (Shakespeare's wife, not the actress!), William wordsworth's home, Lake District, Beatrix Potter's Emporium, British Museum, British Library, BBC, Oxford University, Keswick School and London (where we watched THREE PLAYS)

Okay so, on to the three interesting things that happened to me:

1) Cheated by a scam

YES, I MEAN HOW CAN THIS HAPPEN. HAHAH, but the experience was actually pretty interesting and let me gain experience regarding these kind of things.

So I was walking on a bridge (crossing it) when this man (i think it was a man) who was wearing this UGLY UGLY HORRENDOUS mask comes walking towards me, with a hand outstretched. He wanted to shake hands with me. I immediately said no because, THE MASK WAS SO UGLY UNTIL IT WAS SCARY. I even shouted in that guy's face, "Damn ugly!" Then, Zixin was scared that he would feel rejected, so she asked me to take a picture with him. I said no at first, but finally relented and took the damn picture. Then, we wanted to go already, but he signalled that he wanted to take a picture with Zixin too. Zixin then took it with him. 

When we wanted to go, guess what? He pointed to his palm, asking for money! WTH. There was like this awkward silence when we realised that he wanted money. Zixin finally asked 'how much?'. He then signalled 'two' with his fingers. And Zixin asked 'two pounds?' AND THE GUY WITH THE STUPIDLY UGLY MASK NODDED HIS HEAD. 

So Zixin gave him two pounds, just like that. 

We immediately knew we had been cheated right after that. I mean, who gives two pounds (S$4) for two photos with a guy with an ugly mask?!

I really felt smacked in the face because I was so determined to avoid such incidents. But Zixin felt worse because she kept feeling it was her fault for asking me to take a picture with the guy. Haiz. Anyway, it was a good experience. 

Lesson learnt: Do not just take pictures with anyone, especially people with ugly masks -.-

2) Pranked
So I was staying with Elaine, Shermaine, Zixin, Joelle and Levi in YHA Coventry I think. We were in our hotel/lodge/inn (I don't know what to call it) when I heard someone knocking on our door. Thinking that it was someone from our school, or maybe the teachers, I opened the door. Just as I opened the door, a really scary mask of a lion (A MASK AGAIN!) appeared.
I literally screamed.
Then, I quickly bang the door shut. As I closed the door, I heard some people giggling in the doorway. I was really frightened because that was so unexpected. I really got the shock of my life! The others were asking me what happened and I told them. Just then, the door started rattling. Someone was banging the door from outside and we all knew that they were trying to open the door.
I think I knew why I was so scared at that time - it was because I thought it could be drunkards fooling around. I seriously did not want to mess with any drunk people because who knows what will they do?
It was only after we all thought it through then did we deduce that it could be the German students who were staying at the same place as us. (We saw them when we were eating dinner then. Some of us were even talking about how cute they were -.-)
We then asked Ms Eileen to come over. She came over and we told her what happened. She actually asked us why didn't we open the door and punch them or something. HAHAHAH. But seriously, that mask shocked the hell out of me. I mean, who opens the door and expects to see a mask staring right back at you?
Anyway, we decided to go downstairs and complain to the person in charge. After all, this could be considered as disturbance. While we were walking down the stairs, we saw some German boys standing around the staircase. As we were walking down, we could hear them laughing at us! Which just goes to confirm that they were the ones behind this whole thing.
When we reached the reception, Ms Eileen (the guide btw) started telling us about how she rushed down upon getting my sms. She was apparently, doing a facial mask when I smsed her. She took off her mask halfway through her facial 'spa' and rushed down to my 'rescue'. HAHAHAH. We were all laughing because we totally did not imagine her getting a mask spa now.
The next day, when we were eating our breakfast, we deliberately took a loooooonnnnggg time to eat so that the German students would not have any place to sit and eat. (we had a shared eating place) HAHAHAHAH. Serves them right x)

3) Exposed
We were watching a (remake of) Midsummer's Night Dream in an outdoor theatre. It was raining and cold.
There was this particular part when a woman (the fairy queen i think) was holding this man down because her eyes has been rubbed with a potion that makes her fall in love with the first person she sees when she opens her eyes. And she falls in love with this man whose head has been turned into a donkey -.-
So.... she gets her fairies (or whatever they are) to take that thing out of his pants. Yep. I mean, they took a tube out to represent that thing, but you get it. I ALREADY SOMETHING WEIRD WAS GOING ON AT THIS PART. Then, she started walking towards him and she started unhooking her corset. I really thought she would just stop there, but she didn't!
She exposed her top part.
Yeah, like her breasts. I MEAN LIKE, OMG. Everybody from our school just went, "WTS." There was this collective hush or gasp around me as she did it. THE THING WAS, NO ONE TOLD US ABOUT THIS. I mean, this could be RATED.
And then, she started having sex with the donkey guy. And then they had something like an orgy amongst the fairies, the donkey and the queen. HOW SICK IS THAT. GAH. That was totally unexpected.
Furthermore, she took her clothes off in the freaking cold??? I want more clothes and she wants none? wow.
And as I was looking around the audience later during the intermission, I saw some young boys, who were like 10 years old. Omg, their childhood has just been robbed away from them.

So there, REALLY INTERESTED RIGHT?!
I mean, at least there were these interesting things that happened in UK that would not have happened to anyone else :) Something special I guess!

Oh, and I stayed in the Downtown East chalet with my cousins over the last weekend.
We bbq-ed, cycled, and I swam. It was quite fun I guess :))
And my cousins are now all crazy over Micky from JYJ who acts in Rooftop Prince, hahahah :)

Going to watch Prometheus later (hopefully we can get in!)

Time

Finally packed my UK luggage for tomorrow. I am SOO excited because it is the first time I will be travelling out of Asia! HEEHEE. I can't wait for tomorrow~~ I also bought a new luggage for this trip :)

Just to update, I watched Dark Shadows with Dion quite some time ago, at around 21 May? Dark Shadows was quite good, but not as good as some other movies, say Inception. It was quite a feel-good movie. Eva Green was so pretty, heh. There were actually some pretty scary parts as well! Some comedic elements failed though.

Anyway, moving on to the main topic, I do not have enough time! HELP.

While doing out my homework list today, I realised the tons of homework I have to do! There are FIFTEEN holiday homework to do! I just finished one, just now. Furthermore, after my trip to UK, one week would have  been lost. I'll be left with 2 - 3 weeks to finish all that stuff!!

Holiday =/ rest

Holiday = more work

The reality of Singapore kids. I mean, every subject believes that they are the only ones giving the homework, and gives two or three at one go. But the fact is that, almost EVERY subject gives two or three holiday homework. So, that leaves us, the students, to suffer. 

Teachers always complain about how for every homework we do, they have to mark 100 more copies of that same piece of homework. Well, I would rather mark than write. I mean, for every 1000 words we write, the teachers probably only write about 20 words for comments, sometimes only giving what, three ticks?? The thing about students is that, we not only have to write so much, we have to THINK. We have no answer sheet to refer to. AND THINKING REQUIRES SO MUCH ENERGY. 

When teachers mark, they have a set of answer key to refer to. They already know what to look for, so marking becomes quite systematic. Once they get the momentum, the teachers are actually able to mark quite fast. So, the argument that teachers actually require more effort and time than students to mark is not exactly very valid, considering the point of view of students.

I think that students are often not given enough credit for the effort we spend on studying. Sure, study rewards like monetary benefits, edusave etc works, but I mean, we should have something like a STUDENT'S DAY, WHERE NO HOMEWORK IS GIVEN, MIND YOU. I think that students are really something. We absorb so much information, and churn out so much more. Sometimes, our effort does not necessarily give us the results we want either. Whoever said hard work will get you the result you want should just face reality - it doesn't really happen.

This is why there was a period of time (in year 2 I think) when I SERIOUSLY contemplated the idea of leaving school and working. The idea was so appealing then. I was suffering under a lot of a workload - School is weird. There is always this period of nothing, then this period of everything.

But then reality sank in that that was never going to work out. Working requires a certain standard of smartness, meaning a university cert is like, the MINIMUM requirement already, despite the fact that you can actually quit school after taking the PSLE. 

Studying is everything in Singapore. Smart = good, not smart = work harder. This is not a biased view or anything, I mean, my grades are actually pretty good. So it's not like I am complaining because I have poor grades or anything.

I think that I have been blessed, really. My parents sent me to this childcare when I was young, and there, I got a headstart. My brain for math etc was already developed. I think this was why I did well in school. I also think that it had something to do with my genes perhaps. I probably inherited some of my dad's smartness. All these all play a contributing factor. So, if I didn't have all these, I would probably be suffering much more under the education system.
And let's face it, Singapore's education system is mostly based on rote learning, not motivational, creative etc whatever shit they say. Just look at the number of practice papers I have to do as holiday homework. 

And here I am typing away when I could be doing them uh.

URGHHHH. MAINLY WHAT I AM TRYING TO SAY IS I HATE STUDYING. 

Which is irritating when people ask me, "Your results are so good, why do you hate (this subject)?" Just because I am good at something doesn't mean I like it. I'm good at math, but I hate math.

Anyway, I think that it would be quite rare to find someone who actually likes studying in Singapore. For this, I mean at least secondary 2 students. Because that is the time when you are seriously sick of studying after 8 years of compulsory education. 

Studying is tiring.

But obviously, studying is necessary. It gets us jobs etc. Without studying, all of us would probably be jobless, which eventually leads to being poor and homeless. The society and economy will collapse. In great fashion. It's just that the way studying is being interpreted and implemented in Singapore is hateful, for students. 

I've heard of a school where the teachers bring the students out to a big green field near their school. The students just sit / lie on the grass, enjoy the scenery and listen to the teacher. Either that, or the teacher gives them a hint/headstart, then the students learn, by themselves. I think that is a truly inspirational way of teaching. We discover for ourselves. Singapore obviously does not have such teaching styles. I mean, you cannot even find a big green field near your school anymore. -.- You get the point.

We teach in a rather uncreative, boring manner.

I think that has to change.

And, stop giving us so much homework.

Green fields

Just some random poems that I wrote when I was waiting for my brother to hand me the vodafone so that I could access the Internet a few days ago...
I am looking forward to my UK trip :))
Hopefully, it will go well, be memorable and awesome!

Green Fields

Looking above the horizon,

I saw nothing.

Endless fields of green,

Dancing to the rhythm of the wind.

Up, down, left, right.

It seems as if it is all they do.

Up, down, left, right.

How simplistic their life must be.

Up, down, left, right.

And yet, how easily they are crushed too.

Up, down, left, right.

A snap to their heads under our feet.

Up, down, left, right.

How weak.

But such weaklings are strong as well;

They bear the brunt of Mother Nature.

Sun, rain, snow, wind.

When does it stop? They never know for sure.

An endless cycle of vicious torture

On their weak bodies as thin as paper.

They know that they must survive this storm,

But they do not know what for.

Many artists, poets, writers and famous leaders

Claims that in Nature, there is much to offer.

But all that I can see at this field of green

Is their piteous, endless suffering.

My World in a Book

Opening a book,

Admiring the fine print,

Smelling the cover,

Trying not to break the bridge.

Absorbing each word,

Guessing its meaning.

Intrigued and disturbed

At plots and endings.

Losing myself,

I am escaping

From the real world

To where I want to be.

Where dreams come true,

There are happy endings.

Boys are good-looking,

And girls are pretty.

But books are words,

Words are not reality.

I have finished my book

And my world is slowly crumbling.

OBS camp

Back from OBS camp about 5 days ago already, but was too lazy to post anything. So, sorry for the long wait!! xD

WATCH 19


Day 1:
It was just horrible.
Most of what I remember from that day was how pissed I was. It was a gradual build-up of my negative feelings. The day before that was Mother's Day. I was supposed to be out celebrating but I ended up feeling so tired and worried about OBS that my day just did not end on a very happy note. Those unhappy feelings flowed over to Day 1 and I started the day feeling queasy and nervous.
We also had to sit under this hot tent/shelter to wait for the boat. IT WAS SUCH A LONG WAIT. And that only helped to intensify my dissatisfaction.
Furthermore, there were some things (I cannot remember what) that revealed the fact that my watch (group) was not very united or organized. I guess this got me frustrated and angrier. A vicious cycle uh.
And poor Yunyi had to put up with my pissed off state. HAHAHA. SO SORRY YUNYI!

Day 2:
Was basically a continuation of Day 1.
Okay, I admit. I was feeling homesick. I really felt 'lost' in the camp - I had questions such as "WHY AM I HERE?" running through my mind.
High elements was basically okay for me despite the fact that I always feel scared before I climb. There were some people who took a long time to complete - so it was really a test of perseverance (for the climbers) and patience (for the onlookers). As an onlooker, I felt really motivated at the beginning. I kept urging people on, telling them where to place their footing. But energy levels DO go down. I got tired, and impatient I guess. That was probably one of my flaws - I GET SUPER IMPATIENT. And, somewhere in my heart, I just started feeling frustrated, ALTHOUGH I KNOW I SHOULD NOT. But I just couldn't help the feeling of frustration and irritation that they were taking so long. It was like there were two sides of me then - one which was impatient and angry, the other still wanted to see my friend make it through. Furthermore, time was running out - we still had a trek to carry out.
That was really an emotional conflict going inside me because I did not know what to do.
SO I JUST KEPT QUIET - best way to avoid any potential conflicts. HAHAH.
Anyway, I managed to climb up the wall pretty easily, except for the fact that I had a slight cramp in my thigh from the lack of regular exercise. However, I did not managed to climb to the highest point. Those who saw the wall would know what I am talking about. Yep, so climbing was considered an achievement for me I guess :DD
Due to the lack of time, my watch just RUSHED THROUGH THE TREKKING TO CAMP 1. It was madness - the bagpack was heavy, we were tired. But the thought for dinner being provided for us was enough to entice us all to move fast. And we made it! :)

Day 3:
Camping at camp 1 wasn't so bad, except that it rained. But then there was shelter at camp 1 so we just kind of continued our interrupted sleep.
I guess I got kind of angry today as well because our tent could not be pitched up because of some problems with the ten-piece. Due to that, our tent group had some slight disagreement on how to dry the tent etc, and that really got on my nerves. (I am so easily affected, I realised)
We then packed and got ready for our land expedition. After getting a taste of the trek yesterday, I was absolutely dreading the land expedition. The bags were supposed to be 1/3 of our weight (IMAGINE THAT!!!).
After we set off, I immediately felt DAMN.... (no words can describe it). It is a mixture of suffering and frustration. Like how you are a mice trapped in a mice trap. You cannot get out and yet, you still have to try every possible method to do so. THAT WAS HOW I FELT. I was collapsing under my bag; I want to STOP MOVING, but I know I cannot do that to my watch. I needed to continue moving on.
In the end, Xuechun exchanged her bag with me -  A BIG THANK YOU TO XUECHUN! (I heard her back got hurt after that; I really felt guilty :(( ) I could move a lot easier after that. And yes, I made an effort to drink my water faster so that I could lighten the load on my bag which she was carrying.
We also had some PROBLEMS during the land expedition. WE WENT THE WRONG WAY - WORST THING TO HAPPEN DURING AN EXPEDITION UH. So we ended up skipping one check point first, then completing the rest. However, when we reached something like a cross roads, where we had to choose if we wanted to complete the last (and skipped) check point - which means 500m up and another 500m down, or just go to campsite straight away (about 1km), we hesitated.
JUST LIKE MY TWO SIDES (HAHAHA):
- One side of me wanted to complete all the checkpoints. Furthermore, the instructor said that there was some significance in every checkpoint we did.
- The practical side of me said no. We were so tired, and furthermore, if we wanted to get to our campsite on time, we would definitely have to skip the last checkpoint.
Everyone did not know what to do, so I just raised my thoughts and said that practically speaking, we will never make it on time to the campsite if we went to the last check point (which was a hill man!!!). This kind of decided things, so we decided to skip the last check point. I guess all of us felt a big regretful, but at that point of time, I really wanted to say this to Watch 19: "I do not think that we have failed. We have walked the long way round, and I believe, that if we had taken the right path then, it would have meant that we would have already completed that check point that we missed. I believe that all the additional road that we have travelled would have allowed us to climb up to the hill, and back down. It was really just bad luck and bad choice. So, just imagine that we have already climbed the hill, because our efforts have shown it." I truly felt that way. Yes, it was a waste that we did not climb that hill, but I truly felt as if we had already climbed it. I felt bad that we had to miss a check point, but I do not see anything wrong with that. It was a wise choice made with the best intentions in mind.
On reaching the campsite, the teacher that had been following us during the whole land expedition was leaving. She said this, which really really comforted us, "Thank you for allowing me to accompany you. And thank you for not climbing up the hill." Although we all knew that she meant it in a because-I-was-tired-as-well manner, her words really comforted us at that point of time, and we needed that comfort.
Oh, and we tried to use the natural toilet. Zephania, zixin, yunyi, xuechun and I went into the 'woods' and dug a few holes. All of us actually made up our minds to do the big business aka shit, but none of us could, HAHAHAH. Because the feeling/ mood wasn't there!!! XD
And I overheard Eugene asking Louis for tissue paper (AWKWARD MOMENT when you realise what's he going to do).

Day 4:
We were supposed to have century (it's pronounced the same way but spelled differently I think.And I don't know how to spell it so let's just leave it as that) duty. Upon waking up, my tent mates immediately knew it was going to rain, HEAVILY. There was lightning and thunder everywhere. It was actually quite frightening. We only did our duty for like 5 minutes, then went back to our tents in our ponchos to wait for the rain. How helpless we were.
The rain came, fast and heavy. We just sat in our tents, waiting for it to stop.
It rained for about 1 and a half hours, which totally screwed up our time-tables and schedules for the day. But it was actually quite nice to sleep in the tents, in our ponchos, with the tent leaking. A WHOLE NEW EXPERIENCE MAN. But my butt seriously ached after that (and it still is!!!! D:)
The rain finally stopped. We had to pack our tents (huge amounts of effort involved in packing a WET tent). One of our watches' tents got infested by ants because they left the trash near their tent. We were seriously behind time so I just told them to pack it in. I helped pack it in - I was frustrated and did unimaginable things like touching an ant-infested tent with my bare hands. The ants climbed onto my arms and BIT ME. IT WAS SO PAINFUL. AND THERE WERE SO MANY. Some even crawled under my track pants =_=
Finally, we managed to pack everything. We went kayaking, I peed into the ocean before kayaking. Yeap, I know it's gross but when you have no toilets there, it's the best option available.
Kayaking was tiring, but damn fun for me.
I was HAPPIEST at the beginning of the sea expedition.
Basically, it is because 1) OBS camp is ending. 2) There is no heavy bagpack on my shoulder. 3) I love the feeling of drifting in the ocean - I had been looking forward to kayaking because OBS started.
I was feeling damn high then. Especially after Yunyi and I waited for some slow kayakers, and the instructors started playing Fantastic Baby. The rush we both got made us pedal so fast that we caught up from the last to the front :DD
But towards the end, we ended up feeling quite down in the spirits. Yeehan (the navigator) told us that we were halfway there (though we were not hahaha), and the instructors told us the hard truth. Everyone's spirits went down, and we started pedalling slower. It was an especially trying time because we could have all given up and just drifted in the ocean forever. But we still pushed on (I mean, we had to). I think it really built up our level of tolerance for obstacles. When we finally saw Camp 2, there was a sigh of relief. Not much celebration, just relief. Like how I feel everytime I finish my 2.4km. We were just very tired, relieved, and glad that we did not have to pedal anymore.
After the exhausting process of clean up, we had to bathe etc. It was during this time I guess that I kinda took charge. I did not bother to take charge the past few days because I was feeling really down in the dumps, and there was always someone to rely on, like Shuwen. I guess I felt better after the kayak, and so bothered to actually do something. LOL. I think leadership really depends on the circumstances. BUT IT WAS SO CHAOTIC DURING THAT TIME. Because everyone had to bathe, the lifevests had to be taken out etc. There were so many things...
After that, we had our celebration dinner. Jaime managed to crap so many stuff out eh. But some of our dishes were not very tasty because we did not get our share of vegetable stock, so most stuff tasted bland.
That night, we had a pretty good sleep. My tent mates chatted a bit (the first of many nights). I guess we all felt for once, truly happy then.

Day 5:
Day of packing up.
Zixin and I took charge that day (my taking charge feel is still going on from Day 4).
Packing up was really COOL. BECAUSE THE WHOLE WATCH WORKED TOGETHER THEN. I mean, we gave out the parts, but then everyone still did their job properly and diligently. That was what was missing on Day 1. I finally saw it in Day 5 - and I felt kinda happy :DD
Shao shan, zixin, Nadia (instructor) and I were scrubbing the pot with soil. We chatted quite a bit and I think we really bonded during that time, which was really cool because that was probably the few times we had an intimate talk with the instructor.
We lost 2 jack knives - gotta pay Cherlyn for that (someone remind me!!).
After reaching Singapore, I felt really liberated, but sad at the same time. I guess some part of me will still miss OBS. It opened my eyes and made me experience new things that I would not have dared to try for. This whole memory will stay with me forever :)
And we ate lunch at compass point with a few of us after that -  great lunch :DDD

AND I THINK I HAVE TAILBONE PAIN. Because of sitting on the hard ground in an improper way during OBS. DD: Hope it cures itself naturally!!!! IT'S DAMN PAIN SOMETIMES WHEN I STAND UP AFTER I SIT.

Oh yes, I bought three books today. Gonna start reading them :))
And, I got into Hufflepuff for Pottermore D: (I wanted Slytherin) but whatever, I think I will stop playing it after a while though.

I am too lazy to start packing for the UK trip ~~~

CS concert

CS concert was really tiring, but worth it in the end.

AND I DID SAY THAT I WAS NOT GOING TO CRY.
BUT I STILL DID.

HAHAHAHA.
I guess while standing on stage, the feelings just overwhelmed me and I felt like crying.
I've also realised that the more people you hug, the more you feel like crying.
The urge gets stronger with every hug.
Because at that special moment of our lives, we all share a bond.

CS concert was full house, which was an encouraging thing for all of us.
It really helped pushed us to go further and work harder, because we did not want to disappoint the audience.

Thinking back, I did not have especially close relationships with anyone.
But the experience of going through a CS concert together is something that we all share. It is something that we all relate to; and that gives us a certain, albeit small, sense of belonging.

When the whole concert ended, I felt a mix of relief, happiness and sadness.
Relief that it is finally over,
Happiness that we did well,
And sadness that it is over.

Conflicting emotions are the hardest to handle.

I guess that while I was complaining at the time during rehearsals, I will still look back on such memories fondly. Not because they were that perfect, but because they were that imperfect. That's what makes them worth remembering.

Anyway, I am working on a few projects these days - and it is totally pissing me off -.-
I wonder who comes up with such projects uh. SUCH CREATIVITY. Just do not experiment it on us, please. Specifically, the physics boat project - most annoying project ever! JUST SINK THE BOAT MAN. Maybe we should have a competition for the fastest sinking boat =.=

Oh, and I got back some results for my common tests...
Math 1: A+
Math 2: A
Chinese: B (lol)
Physics: A/A+ (there are some mistakes with a question)
History: B (haiz)
I guess my results are deteriorating...

And my literature role play is not done yet...
D':

This week is going to be horrible.
AND THERE IS LEVEL CAMP NEXT WEEK O.O

Exhausted

So here I am typing this at 12.30am.

In 8 hours time, I will be in school meeting with other peers.
I might as well make my way there now -.-

I AM SO TIRED. EXHAUSTED. DRAINED.
DEPRIVED. OF. SLEEP.

I really really want to sleep, but my juniors aren't actually answering my smses.
And here I am, waiting for their emails.

I ABSOLUTELY HATE THIS WAITING GAME.
You wonder every second, "Is it going to happen now?"
And you end up being disappointed because it never happens =.=

Okay, I am being very angsty and grouchy these days.
Oh, but who cares?

I've got another bad news - my literature role play presentation day CLASHES WITH MY MOVIE OUTING FOR THE AVENGERS. WTS.
Every thing is going the wrong way down.
I mean, that is one of the things that I really looked forward to. Why take it away from me?! *sulks*

And, there is the physics boat assignment.
My group's boat is bound to sink, provided there is even a boat in the first place.
Everyone's boats are out and that is seriously freaking me out.
I am going to spend the rest of me days worrying about the boat.
The boat. The boat. The boat. The boat. The boat. <- that's how my brain is gonna look like.

Anyway, I had rehearsals for the CS concert today.
WE SOLD OUT ALL OUR TICKETS ;D
It was really a pleasant surprise because honestly, I never really thought full house would be possible.

Today's tech run was not smooth-sailing AT ALL.
There were this 'professional' techs who were supposed to come in to help us, but instead made things worse -.- seriously, why are we paying them?
Then, there was this problem with the lights not being shone on the actors' faces. And the teacher kept insisting on having a light there when it was impossible, unless she climbs up and adjusts the light herself.

Argh, so tired.
My junior has sent me the stuff, and I'm done now! Gonna go zzzzzz!

Rather excited for the performance tomorrow :))

The Problem with Group Work

Tomorrow's when I need to hand in my ACE ATT 2. Remember me mentioning it in my previous post? Yeap, the deadline is tomorrow. AND they do not even spare a thought for us after all the common tests that we have been through. HOW KIND.

Now, I really wish that everyday was a common test day. At least that would have been a valid reason for me to procrastinate on whatever it is that I am supposed to do.

You know, sometimes, I get really tired of just... doing things.

It seems like I am always the one trying to get people to get things done, and it is really frustrating at times. Firstly, I am not some super human. I already have problems trying to keep myself at least feeling moderately happy (mental health matters) with all this shitload that's been going on. I CANNOT LOOK OUT FOR MYSELF AND EVERYBODY ELSE.

Sometimes, I really feel like knocking some people's heads and screaming at their face, telling them to take care of themselves and not rely on me.

At least have some initiative to say, "hey the deadline's approaching, why don't we start on this..."

DON'T WAIT.

JUST START. 

I would be better off. 

The whole group would be better off.

This is the problem with group work, and why I really really prefer individual work at times.

The second one is the worst problem - it is when they really try hard, but I am not impressed.

You know, I am an INTP (you can go check that one out) and the test shows that I HATE STUPID PEOPLE. I am really sorry but that is somehow true with me. I get really irritated when people give me work which are just not up to my standard, and yet, I CANNOT BLAME THEM. 

So, I get frustrated by myself.

And all this ranting on blog appears.

By the way, not everything written here is pertaining to ACE ATT 2 - it is an accumulation of ALL MY FEELINGS ABOUT THE HORRORS OF GROUP WORK.

Moving on, the third problem also recently surfaced. It is when I get into a group with another leader-type.

In such a situation, two scenarios can appear:

1. I am happy and I let that person take over as the leader (rest time for me!)

2. That leader and I have opposing views - AND WW3 HAPPENS.

SEE, THERE IS ALWAYS A PROBLEM. 

This really happened this year and lots of SPARKS FLEW (in a bad way). Everyone should know what happens when there are two alpha males in a pack. Furthermore, there were three in my case - HMMMMM.

Being a leader type, we always want our ideas implemented. I mean, I am slightly more flexible. If I hear an idea that is much more awesome than mine, I would use it instead.

BUT SOME PEOPLE ARE JUST SO STUBBORN, MAINLY LEADER TYPES.

The last and final problem is the most irritating. 

WHEN NATURE GOES AGAINST YOU.

Printers break down and laptops crash.

Then, I will have to solve a problem which is not really caused by anybody, but still irritating nonetheless. The question will always ring in my head, "WHY ME???"

WHY AM I SO UNLUCKY. Or rather, WHY IS MY GROUP MATE SO UNLUCKY? (which effectively implicates me as well)

These are the reasons why I AM SO SICK OF GROUP WORK.

And, there are SO MANY group projects this year! We had seven ongoing projects AT THE SAME TIME during one point of time.

I wonder why didn't I have such problems in 2k? It was probably because we didn't have that many projects, or because my group mates were just simply fantastic. 

I am not really hinting about anything regarding 4k etc.

It is just that my groupings this year aren't exactly ideal. 

Work always gets into the way of relationships - totally relatable. 

Anyway, there is my CS concert rehearsal tomorrow, which is going to end at 9pm (congrats to self). 

I wonder if I will cry at the end of the concert. 

Maybe not though. I don't really have any emotional attachments to that CCA - sad to say.

And Elaine just followed my blog. YAY. 

And I just followed Huiyi's and Elaine's. HAHA - the things we do.

Reaching the goal...

I conquered Chemistry and History papers today!

I was pretty worried for History because I only read on some readings, and frankly speaking, I would have died without my cheatsheet! (For your info, the cheatsheet is allowed! So it is not really cheating!)

I am only left with Maths 2 and Physics - which are pretty okay for me except Trigonometry 3. I was INITIALLY FEELING OKAY about Trigo 3 until everyone in the class started doing the revision worksheet and asking me question on how to do this and that. That started freaking me out - because I did not finish the worksheet. 

One feels calm when one is prepared.

Therefore, I shall ATTEMPT to finish (highly unlikely) to finish the trigo revision worksheets.

Just two more steps (papers) and I WILL BE FREE!! NIKE~

(Note: This guy ran this really long marathon and shouted 'Nike!' at the end - ring any bells?)

Meanwhile, I re-read this mange series called "Ao Haru Ride". 

It's not finished yet - it's translated til Chapter 16. For those of you who find the characters looking really familiar, it is from the same author as "Strobe Edge"!

Strobe Edge really really pleased and surprised me a lot so I was pretty happy to find that she had started on another manga - Au Haru Ride. If I am not wrong, it means the journey of youth (or something along that line). The characters are really well-drawn once again :))

Anyway, I like how this author really goes in-depth into the character's feelings. YOU REALLY SEE THEM DEVELOP. I mean, really. As compared to some other mangas that ARE SO SEEMINGLY SUB-STANDARD NOW uh. In fact, I wonder how she manages to capture the feelings of the characters so well. It's like I can really picture myself feeling like that in that situation - that's how good it gets.

Oh, and Oresama Teacher is JUST SO DAMN FUNNY. 

I think I love how the author for this manga HINTS something, but never really lets it get blown up. It's like there's this tinge of romance, but romance is never the main thing this manga is pushing for. 

And this manga is actually quite suitable for guys because there is FIGHTING. AND IT IS FREAKING AWESOME BECAUSE THIS GIRL IS ACTUALLY FREAKING PRO. She can fight so many guys! (I know it's unbelievable, but in manga, anything can happen.) And it's really nice to see a girl who can ACTUALLY fight for a change - not like those wimpy main characters that always cry.

So Oresama Teacher is becoming one of my favourite manga series :DD

The drawings can get pretty annoying sometimes (I remember I picked it up BEFORE, saw the first chapter and dropped it. Then I PICKED IT UP AGAIN BECAUSE OF AWESOME REVIEWS OF IT) but just keep reading it and it gets better, and you get used to it! :DD

The drawings are good now by the way x)

I am also REALLY LOOKING FORWARD TO THE AVENGERS, DARK SHADOWS and many many other good movies :DD

The Avengers - seriously anticipating it! IT HAD BETTER BE GOOD. I'm looking out for Captain America, Thor and Black Widow (she rocks!).

Dark Shadows just seem interesting because of Eva Green :D

...

........

...........

By the way, today's my BIRTHDAY :D

Gonna eat pizza later! :))

childhood

I ate Macdonald's with a group of friends from 4K today because we wanted to finish the mac vouchers that we won from the financial lit class quiz :)

We really had quite a good time I think (at least from my point of view). We chatted and laughed a lot - thanks to Dion!

Oh, just to mention, I am currently having my common tests. I had Language Arts and Chinese yesterday and it's Math 1 and Literature today. The tests were relatively okay, except LA simply because it was the first test and because I did not have enough time (frustrated). 

But it's over! So there's not much I can do for it already :))

Anyway, when going home today, Shermaine and I saw this small kid (a boy) who was let's see, 1 year old? I am not very good at judging a child's age. However, he was adorable and tiny. I think he can barely speak. He was able to walk though. When we walked into the train, the boy just started smiling at Shermaine and I in a very mischievous manner which was cute at the same time. 

After Shermaine left, I was left in the train alone. I continued staring at the boy.

He was fiddling with his grandpa's fingers. When their station arrived, the boy clutched his grandpa's hand, which was too big for his tiny hand. He then reached out and held his grandma's pinky. In doing so, he lost grasp of his grandpa's hand. Eventually, he resorted to holding his grandma's pinky finger and his grandpa's fourth finger. 

I have no idea why but I was captivated by this whole process.

No matter what, the little boy was going to walk out of the train holding both his grandpa and grandma's hands. Despite the tiny fingers he had, he held onto them tightly. 

I continued watching them as the doors closed.

And suddenly, I had this overwhelming urge to cry. 

It was really unexpected. Even as I am typing this, the feelings come rushing back all at once and my eyes tear.

I think it was the feeling of nostalgia. Looking at that little boy, I started to wonder if I was like that once, holding onto my grandparents' hands so tightly. I wondered if I ever held my grandparents' hands that tightly. This is especially important because my grandpa passed away when I was... primary 4? I am not sure. My memories of them are very faint, simply because they are the memories of a child.

I started to wonder if I had actually cherished them and let them know that they were important to me, just as that boy had done with the simple act of holding their hands.

Looking back, I really hoped that I did. Because then I would not have any regrets. The only time when you get to express your true emotions without fear of anything is when you are still clueless about the world, when you are still a child. I hoped that I had shown them that I did indeed treasure them, because I dare not show such feelings now.

When you get older, expressing your feelings become harder, more difficult.

And most of all, I wished for myself to be that little boy.

I wanted to go back to my childhood days. I craved for it there and then.

When you grow older, you start to realise the realities of the world around you. You start being burdened. You start being oppressed. You start being less happy.

I wanted to go back in time then. 

And as I held back my tears in the train, I realised that some things just cannot be done.

Too much on too little

To follow up on my previous post, I have watched the Hunger Games! :D

It was quite good (info: I have not read the book then yet). Katniss was really good (I'VE LOVED HER EVER SINCE X-MEN FIRST CLASS) and Peeta was much more likeable than Gale.

And yes, Gale was ugly and technically useless in the movie. He only appears for let's see, less than 30 minutes and he is listed as one of the main characters. Seriously?! I mean, even Haymitch and Effie had much more scenes, and important tasks to deliver than him. However, I kind of understand because the book is like that. But the order of the names during the credits just pisses me off, still. I mean, he was in the first three names to appear (WHAT.) 

So, on to the main topic. 

Singapore is way too overcrowded.

I just realised that this morning when I was taking the train to school. I took it during the peak hour. At Kovan station, only three(?) people could get into the train carriage. THIS, despite the fact that we have already moved in to the centre of the train cabin, etc. 

SERIOUSLY. PEAK HOURS JUST MEAN PACKED TRAINS, BUT NOT SITUATIONS WHEN SOMEONE CANNOT GET INTO THE TRAIN.

I was really bewildered at that and just thought, "When is enough enough?"

The government said 4 million some years back, and now, it's 6 million. I mean, look around you, how are you actually going to squeeze 6 million people into Singapore, PERMANENTLY. Not to mention those who are staying here temporarily.

I mean, Singapore has 704km2 of space. That means each of us (6 mil) will get about 117.333m2 of space. If I square root it, it will become 10.832m. That would mean that each of us gets a square of about 10m in length! That's still quite a lot, but imagine what happens when MORE people come in!

Look at Australia, they are how many times our size, and look at how many people they have! I think they have only 3-4million people!

I am not being anti-PAP here. I just hope that the government will know when is enough enough.

There is a limit to the amount of land you can reclaim.

There is a limit to the amount of buildings you can build on land.

There is a limit to the population of people you can put on Singapore. 

Furthermore, there are also SO MANY MRT BREAKDOWNS recently. The problem of overcrowding is further highlighted during such situations. Look at the amount of people that are already on the train platform when two trains are missed!

Either that, or they increase the number of trains. I remember that I read somewhere, (one of the most liveable cities) had trains that arrived every 60 secs! IMAGINE THAT. 

Okay, enough about ranting here.

Something also happened last/this week that really got me irritated as well D:<

It has something to do with a project... I should probably blog about it later on this year (after people have forgotten about it :P)

Common tests are coming and I have gotten nothing done yet...

SEE! TOO MUCH AGAIN. TOO MUCH EDUCATION - HAHAHAHA! 

Bonding

I had a little bonding session with Siyun, Shermaine, Xue Chun and Dion today. We went to queue for Free Cone Day today. The queue was astounding as always!

We queued for slightly more than one hour. Our legs were all aching because we had PE previously and some of us ran several rounds around the track. (I ran three, and was worn out already) The process was actually quite torturous and tiring. Some of us were starving and it was obvious that our level of enthusiasm was getting lower by the minute. However, as we neared the ice-cream booth, we got visibly excited.

OUR HARD WORK PAID OFF AND WE GOT THE FREE ICE-CREAMS.

I chose some triple caramel with fudge flavour which was okay although I think the big chocolate bits were quite irritating because I like ice-cream without any additional stuff that requires me to bite through it. Just ice-cream by itself would be good :)

Siyun then left while Sher, Dion, Xuechun and I headed to Popeyes. We are such gluttons! :P

The dinner was really fantastic because we really got to know more about each other. We also laughed a lot at some of our funny incidents. I had this really bad laughing session that could not stop - thanks to Dion! I LAUGHED TILL MY RIBS HURT - THAT WAS HOW BADLY I LAUGHED. 

With our stomachs filled, we went home happily :)

Dion, Sher and I talked some more on the way home - shoot, shag, marry and kill, burn, torture! HAHA. 

I just realised that I am kind of the last to leave.

First there was Siyun, Sher, Dion, Xue chun and I.

Then there was Sher, Dion, Xue Chun and I.

Next there was Dion, Sher and I.

Finally there was Sher and I.

Lastly it was just me.

HAHAHAHAHA. This (^) just dawned on me LOLOL.

But not every happy day ends happily. I was reminded of some unhappy things on the way home and it kind of dampened my spirits again zzz. 

But still, really thanks to the people mentioned who made my day today really fun and interesting! We suffered and enjoyed together! It has been so (quite) long since I had such heart to heart talks about topics that really interested me. It was kind of liberating in a way :)

Looking forward to the Hunger Games tomorrow :D

April

March is over and April is here.

How time flies.

The subtleties of every day creep onto you,

Eat away at you,

Consume you,

And become who you are.

I think I have changed.

Somehow, somewhere,

Inside of me,

I have changed.

But the change is slow,

Ever-changing,

Looming,

I never know when it happens.

I never know where it happens.

Have I changed for the better?

Have I become a better person,

A better citizen,

A better student,

A better friend,

A better daughter,

A better me?

I do not know.

I ask myself this question every year, on a special day.

I think I will ask myself that question again this year, as I marvel in that one day's speciality that is only known to me, that is only truly treasured by me.

Only time will tell.

And with time comes change.

As time passes,

Memories,

Emotions,

and the vibrancy of colours fade.

I will probably forget that I ever wrote this.

Over-ridden

I am being over-ridden with troubles. Heaps of it, in fact.

The lesson today started off with Mr Tay announcing that we have to start on our ACE ATT 2. Didn't we just finish ATT 1? I thought that was over and done with, and then out comes a follow-up project, which will no doubt be followed up by another follow-up project called... ATT 3! Hooray.
Furthermore, I am facing the impending doom of common tests. It is not here yet, but I can already feel its overwhelming presence. I keep thinking that I should do something about it, but am too lazy to take any action.w

A few other projects that I am faced with (let me list them out for easy reference):
- ATT 2 (T3W1)
- Project Work (T2W5)
- Romeo and Juliet play (T2W4)
- Chinese project (T2W4)
- CME project (T2W4)
- Financial Lit project (T2W4)

Perhaps that are more that I cannot remember now... D:

*ripping my hair out in worry and rage*

At the same time, I have so many 'social' stuff to attend to. Yep, I am having so many outings despite the ongoing list of tasks I have.
I am going to watch Hunger Games. And read it too.
I am going to eat free ice-creams on Free Cone Day.
I am going for DHS CO concert.

Speaking of which, if anyone reading this is interested, please attend the Chinese Society (CS) concert! This is my CCA, but I am not performing. I will be helping out with the lighting.
Date: 5 May 2012 (Vesak Day - you can't claim to be busy!!)
Time: 7pm
Venue: Dunman High School (Singapore), Performing Arts Centre
Performances include chinese opera, drama and chinese dance :)
Tickets are sold at $10 for one.
**All performances will be spoken in Chinese.
If any non-Dunmanians are interested, please contact me at sueq51@gmail.com :)
No spam please. I WILL BLOCK AND REPORT YOU.

Anyway, I have just read the novel "The Sealed Letter" by Emma Donoghue, the author of "Room", which I also bought. It centers around the scandal of the Codringtons (you can go check it out) and the characters involved in it.
What makes the characters very believable is the fact that they all have some flaws. You can almost see them as being real people. Not all of them are truly noble, or truly evil.
Helen and Fido are friends whose friendship is threatened when Helen's affairs are found out by her husband, Harry, who presses for a divorce. Fido had helped Helen in the affair a few times and is thus, dragged into this unfortunate mess.
The nature of their friendship quickly unravels amidst revelations, confessions between them and of others. How much of it is truth, and how much lies? There is suspense in every page of the novel - the readers are always left guessing.
The language is vastly different from 'Room'. There is a certain eloquence and exotic-like quality with every sentence. Difficult words that are not often used are mentioned in the book too (useful to have a dictionary on hand). There are some Macbeth quotes in there too - finally, something useful from the education last year! The way of writing is much like the olden times as well. Long sentences which you have to re-read several times to grasp the full meaning. It may prove difficult at first, however, as you progress, you will find the sentences easier to read (at around 1/5 of the book).
THE ENDING WAS A REAL TWIST AND SURPRISE AS WELL. Though I suspected it after I found out what literary award it won...(hint hint)
The ending left much to be satisfied. The feelings of the characters after the trial were mostly left unknown, only Fido's were explained. A 3.75/5 for this book perhaps. The long-windedness at the beginning of the book cost it that 0.25, heh.

Gonna end off here now :))

Delirium... Pandemonium

Do you still remember when I talked about the book "Delirium"?

It is actually part of a trilogy and Pandemonium is the sequel to Delirium.

The whole story focuses on a girl called Lena who is in this world where love is considered a disease. At the age of 16, everyone has to take a injection (or vaccination) that will turn them into loveless being, devoid of sympathy or feeling. The government controls everyone, including who they marry. 

Delirium was really good. The concept of the whole story was good - a world without love. Man without passion. I was really interested in the idea of it and bought the book. The book is captivating - I remember finishing it in one sitting :) However, the only thing that I really did not like were the instances of romance. Somehow, it did not seem to fit in because of the fact that this was supposed to be world without love. There are hardly any moments of intimacy except towards the end. The book really did a good job of building such a scenario without love.

Now, onto Pandemonium. I was really hesitant about buying Pandemonium because there have been sequels that fail, terribly. (The cover looked really good though.) And the words were in a slightly larger print - which I don't like. I like books with small print, somehow it gives them its authentic feeling. However, I still bought it in the end and I finished it in one day :) 

The book was fairly good, although it is not as good as Delirium. I'll give it a 4/5 for the fact that it's a sequel. The language was somewhat lacking in comparison to Delirium. However, it still makes for a pretty good read. Delirium was more about Lena gaining exposure and new insights about the world she lives in - the hard truth VS the lies. Pandemonium was more action packed with Lena getting physically stronger, and smarter. 

*Spoiler - Alex is PRESUMABLY dead, and Lena is slowly getting over his death. Then, she has to keep track of this guy called Julian who is a representative of a Youth organisation against the love disease. You can guess what happens. 

The ending of Pandemonium is perhaps the most upsetting and disappointing part. I was really hoping that this series would be able to avoid the usual cliches (meaning, love triangles -.-). Anyway, Julian and Lena makes an an unusual combination. Alex would be wayyy better because he did what Julian never did - he sacrificed himself for Lena.

I was also hoping that rather than exploring the love as love, Lauren Oliver would explore the love of friendship. Tackle where most teenage fiction writers miss or ignore, instead of going for the cliches of love between the opposite sex. It would be really good to bring back Hana and see what happens  - did she really take the cure? Would she still see Lena as a friend? 

Okay, so mainly what I want is: MAKE THINGS MORE DISASTROUS FOR LENA RATHER THAN GETTING HER INTO A LOVE TRIANGLE. 

Make her feel the dire consequences of a world without love! It would be REALLY good if she goes find Hana and Hana doesn't recognise her. MAKE LENA DEVASTATED. Make her desperate. Of course, it would be best if Lena finally manages to get Hana to feel love (friendship kind) for her again! That would really get readers to treasure the existence of love. RATHER THAN GETTING LENA INTO A LOVE TRIANGLE - REALLY, HOW CAN IT ACTUALLY COME TO SUCH A POINT. I am really disappointed!!! I really expected better for this series.

Especially since it had SUCH A WONDERFUL CONCEPT TO PLAY WITH.

And another thing: How can there be so many resistance members??! I thought they were the minority. And suddenly, there are so many helping Lena out -.- It seems rather unrealistic considering the situation they are in. 

At least one thing that was really good in this book is that there actually WAS a resistance plan - HOORAY. (spoiler!!) I've been wondering throughout Delirium what signs were of resistance were the resistance showing. Get it?? LOL. Also, it would be best to find her mother in the last book - focus on OTHER types of love!

Overall, I think I will still buy the last remaining book - I mean, I've already bought the first two right?? I really hope that the third book would be able to make good use of the concept in the first book :))

-- edited

Anyway, there is an ebook featuring Hana's viewpoint when she went partying while Lena went to look for her that night. I really want to read it!!! :DD Finding some way to do so...

Social Sciences Conference at SMU

I went for the Social Sciences Conference (SSC) at SMU yesterday along with Hannah, Huiyi, Siyun and Yunyi. :)

Anyway, being the slow me, I only realised yesterday that social sciences is actually a subject at other schools, just not at Dunman High, though we have something similar called ACE - which I forgot what it stood for. Oh! Active Citizenry Education, yep.

So we were supposed to meet at bras basah at 9.10am but then in the end, I ended up being the only punctual one (pat myself on the back). Huiyi ended up being the latest because she slept at 3am the night before. AS ALWAYS.

We had this Q&A session with S.R. Nathan. I REALLLY felt like asking him and question but could not think of any good ones so I just gave up and listened to the others ask him questions. Yep, and my wish to take a photo with him obviously dissolved because there wasn't even a chance to do so!

Anyway, I am quite annoyed by something he said though, "Singapore cannot change the world. We can only react to it." LOL. I wasn't really expecting those words to come from the ex-president of Singapore. I mean, have a little more faith in us! And these words were quickly refuted by the speaker during the breakout sessions.

The session which I went to (with Yunyi) was Who runs the World? Meaning, who takes charge and creates the rules in the world? We dabbled with a few ideas such as the United States and the United Nations. Is UN a world policeman? It would definitely seem ironic to call it so because it does not even have an army. The UN soldiers are mainly contributed by countries and most of the soldiers come from... guess where? Bangladesh! WOW. 

And I also find the UN's way of conducting affairs slightly unfair and even, let's say, biased, power-inclined? I mean, we have this 5 big powers who get to literally, have the FINAL say in everything. So long as one of them disagrees, the whole suggested plan will have to be scrapped! Imagine that! Instead of the United Nations, you might as well call it the 5 countries' nations. (LOL. maybe that was too harsh) 

But the UN does not not have its merits. I mean, it really does excellent in the philanthropy area! The usual idea is really that of UN = help. right?

But in terms of keeping peace, I guess the effects are really only felt in smaller countries. I mean, the UN can't actually help make peace between the US and China right? After all, they themselves are part of the 5 big powers! It would really be ironic to see them pass a veto on a proposal on themselves, HAHAHA. 

The other thing we discussed is US vs China. I guess VS would be a bit inappropriate.

Anyway, I don't really like the idea of having US troops stationed in SG. I dunno why but the idea just kinda puts me off because I mean, this is Singapore. Why do I need other people's troops in our territory? It's kinda intruding?? But then again, this is the government's decision and maybe, there are other issues at stake, so who knows? I cant give a definite judgement based on my own assumptions.

So anyway, the whole discussion was really interesting and cool. Although I did find that the seminar way of teaching is cool, it still freaks most of us out because we aren't used to the style of teaching. haha! So the whole discussion was actually pretty one-sided.

AND I REALLY LIKED THE LAST PART OF MS ANN's discussion! Because she said that we should not think that singapore is not important in the global front. Just because we are small doesn't mean we aren't significant! hehe. I think that that last part really empowered all of us sitting there because it really gave us hope that, hey, when we grow up, we can make a difference. As opposed to the seemingly pessimistic view of SR Nathan, haha. 

Yep, and we finally had the final part of the conference where we had all the professors come together and answer questions by us. 

There was this part which is really extremely memorable where a student asked if they thought that the recent hype over the general elections were temporary or sustainable. One of the Indian professors, who is a Singaporean answered this as the rest had only lived in SG for a few years. He said that he felt the hype was a mix of both. And then he went on to say that we should not discredit what the government has done as well. We have managed to achieve multi-culturalism to a certain extent, when many other countries have failed. At the end of his short speech/answer, the students applauded. I think that that was when the Singapore spirit really shone from the various students sitting in the auditorium. I could really feel that all the students/Singaporeans there felt proud at that moment, to be a Singaporean :)

After SSC ended, I went to Plaza Sing with Siyun, Huiyi and Yunyi. We walked around Daiso and Spotlight- mainly it was huiyi and siyun who were actually 'shopping'. We then went down to the basement and ate, because we were all so hungry.

I then met up with my parents there for dinner. We initially wanted the Manhattan Fish Market but it appears everyone had the same idea as us, haha! Partially because there was this coupon that they gave out (I had it at home too) which was really worth it! haha! So in the end, we went to the... FOOD COURT. Note the big disparity in food standards. After eating, I went to this bookshop nearby :)

Oh yeah! SMU gave us this book published by them - Social Space. You can go check it out. There are several articles which I thought was really interesting!!

"Of Spatial and Mindset Change" - interview with Tay Kheng Soon

      He talked about rubanisation! The idea is actually quite cool, where the urban and rural area come together as one. He also talked about communities as being small sustainable communities.

"The New Way of the Future: Small, local, open and connected" by Ezio Manzini

      Very similar to the idea of rubanisation!! He calls this cosmopolitan localism. I really wonder what SG will be like if the two ideas were implemented!

"Improving lives in the base of pyramid, profitably" by Stefan Jacob and Pin Kwok

      Mainly about how to tap into the lower class people's 'wealth'. For example providing cheap, but good quality products that are targeted at these people, rather than the usual high-end customers. It will not only benefit the companies involved, but the consumers as well.

"Working on the Rights of Singapore's Working Poor" by Siew Kum Hong

      OH THIS IS IMPORTANT. haha! Because it involves Singapore! It addresses income inequality and actually provides a SOLUTION called Workfare Plus! The idea actually sounds pretty good although I am not very sure about what is endowment... lol.

"Tiny Ideas, Big Changes" by Won Soon Parl

       This article is cool too because it talks about how citizens can take part in policy making, rather than only small groups of people working along with the government :) It would be really good if SG can implement this!

HAHAHA. I sound like I did a lot of work, hehe! :D 

I shall go relax now because I've finished all my homework! YAY. It was a really good idea to start on PW earlier!!! Really kudos to Hannah for speeding us up :D

I shall treasure all my time at home now before FACING SCHOOL TOMORROW D:

homework, to do or not to do?

Actually, the title might be a little misleading because I have actually finished most of my holiday homework. I am currently only left with two - chemistry worksheet and a history essay. It is the history essay which puts me off because I really have NO MOOD to start on it at all!
I usually have an enthusiasm for such things! I would be thinking, "okay, let's start on this and get high marks!" Yep, I am a person who REALLY CARES ALOT about marks. People often ask me why I do so well and I think the main reason is because of marks.
Seriously speaking, I hate studying. I have actually contemplated quitting school and getting a job before. Yep, I did! I think it was around last year when I starting to have these crazy thoughts. I felt like I did not have any direction or goal in life and that I was just wandering aimlessly. I did not know what I wanted to be when I grow up.

I was especially frustrated because I did not seem to have the passion for anything in life.

So, I have always been living in the moment. Even now.
I guess marks are just a short-lives motivation for me. I WANT to get high marks - that's essentially the key to whatever I do. To get the best results possible. I love self-satisfaction :D

Okay, anyway back to the topic - history essay. I heard from one of my friend Siyun that we did not have to do it O.o But I am really doubting that such miracles could come true! I believe that we will STILL have to write the essay eventually, it's just a matter of when. D: So, I WANT to do it ASAP, I am just too lazy to start on it!

And yes, I realised that I have been very lazy these days~!!!! I have SOME stuff on my agenda but I always find some excuse to push it back or refuse to do it -.- I NEED TO GET STARTED.

Oh yeah, I went to watch WICKED with Siyun (that was when she told me we did not need to do the essay), Nicole and Krystal.
We met up at Suntec and ate Astons! Siyun and I did the horrible mistake of ordering spaghetti - I did it to get the soup. LOL. The spaghetti was horrible. I never liked spaghetti with sauce. What's more, we ate dominos during lunch while doing project with Huiyi and Xuechun.
Krystal came over and said, "I saw you two eating spaghetti and I was like, why? why?" HAHAHA. yes, I now know my mistake. I WILL NEVER ORDER SPAGHETTI FROM ASTONS. To quote myself, "I was foraging for salmon amongst the spaghetti."
We laughed over a lot of stuff while eating. Oh yah, we also talked about Xiaxue and Naomi. I HAD NO IDEA WHO THEY WERE INITIALLY - "living in my own bubble".
I was just listening to them talk about them. Anyway, I was interested and since I was reluctant to start on my essay, I went to check out their blogs just now heh. LOL. Xiaxue's blog was pretty interesting and the most recent one about being selfish is kinda cool and truthful. I also went to read Naomi's one which was regarding her haters lol. She actually took the time to print screen her hater's twitter comments and post it on her blog, hahaha. I wonder how she has the time to do such stuff, while I am here worrying about my essay =_=

So, yeah, we then went to MBS. We took some pictures using Nicole's camera :)
And then, at 7.30pm, WICKED started.

Wicked was really good and awesome. Electrifying, an eye-opener! :D The songs that they sang were actually good! The whole stage set-up was really cool and nice as well! The story really felt like Romeo and Juliet at the beginning (where they announce the whole story's ending at the prologue lol). The green girl really creeped me out initially. haha! Anyway, the story was really touching as well. I actually cried a few times during some of the parts.
The last musical I went to was Mamma Mia! which was when I was p4? I don't remember much of it already, just a woman at the top of a make-shift cliff singing something. So it was a really wonderful experience to watch such a fantastic play AND remember it! :))

And I finally managed to watch Guzaarish just now! The storyline is SSSSOOOOO similar to Me Before You!!! They should have collaborated or something, haha! Anyway, the movie was a tear-jerker :') You really feel as if you are in Ethan's shoes. Anyway, the movie is about a man who petitions for euthanasia because he is unable to move any of this body from his head onwards. Furthermore, he was a famous magician before that so the suffering and entrapment he feels is much more intensified. The movie is shot beautifully and everyone should watch it! :))

Yay, the past few days' events have been recorded :)
Now, on to whether I should do my essay...

Holidays!

It is finally the end-of-term holidays! YES!

Although I look forward to the holidays, in truth, it will be bombarded with homework. Also, the holidays is only one week long. There is an additional day of holiday tomorrow due to good A-level results of my school. I will probably be doing my chinese newspaper article review and my chemistry project. These are my top priorities! I still have a few, wait. That's an understatement. I still have TONS of homework undone. 

I am seriously hoping that I will be able to do them fast, and well. :))

I am currently obsessed about this movie, "Jodhaa Akbar". Yes, it is a Bollywood movie.

And yes, I watch bollywood movies (to those out there who don't know). In fact, I love them! I have a few favourites - Devdas (a must-watch!), Kal Ho Naa Ho, Dhoom 2... and many more! Because I am unable to find the disc for Jodhaa Akbar in the National library, I am now watching it on youtube. However, I want to watch it on BIG SCREEN!! So I actually emailed Vasantham (yes, I DID!) to screen the show during the Saturday 4pm timing where they show bollywood shows! HAHAHAHAH. 

And I also find this guy DAMN HOTTTT. HRITHIK ROSHAN!! (I'm just gonna spam his pictures now haha)

He acts in Bollywood shows! And he has two thumbs on his right hand (cool). His eyes have this really cool colour like grey/blue. GAAAAHHHHH. (okay, I know I'm fan-girling, wtv) 

He actually looks abit like Jason Mraz, but in a hotter and nicer way, heh.

If I ever see him, I wanna get a picture with him! :DD

I told my friends at school during physics lesson about him and his hotness and they all went, "huh! where got?" Either that, or "I didn't know Sue Qin's type was this kind." Yep, now you know! I went crazy about Takeshi Kaneshiro once too!

Yep, but now Hrithik is cooler. Much cooler. He has this Caucasian look :) :P <3

Anyway, I stayed back in school today with Siyun and we talked. ALOT. haha! It was really a good, nice chat that we had. We got free tickets to Sheryl and Elaine's ___. HAHAHA. It was really good! And it was so fun to watch them! Yep, and SIYUN WATCHES BOLLYWOOD MOVIES TOO!!! HAHA. I showed her alot of movies and we were discussing storylines and stuff :))

Overall, not such a bad day!

Oh, and I finished Me Before You by Jojo Moyes. SUCH A GOOD BOOK. It really sets you thinking about life and its meaning, as well as the power of love as well. You definitely won't regret picking it up! :D

And then it happened...

I am just here to review on a book called "And then it happened" by Linda Green.

Basically, I would rate this book 3.5/5.

It is quite a good book, but not an especially good one. I think that what annoyed me initially was the style of writing of the author. The author tended to write very long sentences, which forced me to re-read some of them in order to make sense of what she was saying.

The storyline goes like this: Mel and Adam have been together since 13 years old. (Seems kinda 'One Day'-ish) They are in love and have a child called Maya. They have a close friend called Steve, who is married to Mel's best friend, Louise. One day, Adam gets into an accident and goes into coma. This book narrates the trials that Mel faces during this period, and how she gets over them.

The storyline is really quite interesting. The chapters shift between the views of Mel and Adam every chapter. (similar to One Day again!) What particularly made me irritated was perhaps Mel's character after finding out about Adam's accident. She cried for a long period of time, which made me feel like going up to her and slapping her in the face and screaming at her, "Get a hold of yourself!" The vulnerability and self-pity she exhibits can be rather over-excessive in the first few chapters after Adam goes into coma.

Perhaps what could be noted could be the phrases that the author repeats towards the end of the book. I read the words and vaguely remember just seeing them a few chapters before, which makes the reading process undeniably unpleasant. UNLESS they had some significant or symbolic meaning to them.

What I REALLY liked about the book though, was its sense of realism and its ending. SPOILER* The ending might make some of us feel unsatisfied, as if it could have been better. However, it would be important to know that in real-life cases, happy endings do not happen. The stark realism of the ending really struck me and left me wondering where did the real Adam went? However, it is also weird and too exaggerated that the 'new' Adam and 'old' Adam are SO different! Their tone and intonation just do not seem like each other. I admit that they will never be the same, but they can't be that different, can they?

Well, either way, this book would made a good read for those who want a touch of realism and romance mixed together.

I am now reading a book by one of my favourite authors, Jojo Moyes, "Me Before You". If you have not read her previous book, "The last letter from your lover", you REALLY SHOULD. IT'S DAMN GOOD. <3
I also bought another book, "Before I Go To Sleep", which is on waiting list :))

fond memories

hmm... I think I have not posted anything on CNY yet.
Anyway, CNY was great. I had reunion dinners with both paternal and maternal relatives :))
Although, it was really quite awkward sometimes because I don't recognize some of the extended relatives. Some problems with extended families!
I went karaoke with my maternal family too. After that, I went to have dinner with 2k!! :DD

It was really fun. I went to Yohanes' house and meet some of them first. They were playing risk, although in actuality, they only really played for 30 minutes!
We decided to go to Changi Airport's Terminal 2's Sakae Sushi. We booked a tatami room :)
The dinner was really funny! We talked a lot, and joked around :D Yohanes tried to make us guess a scenario and we did not get even one correct! We came up with a lot of funny scenarios instead which got us all laughing.
And when we played black magic, I always seem like the last one to get the trick, especially FUZZY WUZZY. All of them tried to get me to figure it out, AND I FINALLY DID, HAHAHA! We also took a lot of photos :)
It was the first proper class outing in a really long time, and more than half the class attended it: Yohanes, Suting, Genevieve, Grace, Ying Xuan, Krystal, Pamela, Felix, Bryan, Alvin, Valen, Jinheok, Boning and me! I am pretty sure I got everyone there... >.<
I am really glad that we got together after so long! :)) I think that 2kellyx has got this 'thing' that most classes don't have! I hope that we will get together again after like, 20 years, when all of us are married with kids :')

Anyway, I am having some problems with my own class' stuff now... hmm... I better not mention it, haha.

I am currently trying my best to do my commonwealth essay, but I figured that there is no use trying to force myself to do something that I cannot now. I am going to watch my bollywood show! :))

In a Grove... and stats!

Lessons have been pretty interesting these days, I wonder why...

Let's take History for example. My teacher has given us something similar to a short story, "In a Grove" by Ryunosuke Akutagawa. It is an interesting story. A samurai's corpse is found. There are three suspects for this murder: Masago (his wife), Tajomaru (a bandit) and himself (he might have committed suicide). Testimonies have been collected from the woodcutter who found the body, a travelling buddhist, a policeman who arrested Tajomaru, Tajomaru, Masago and Takehiko (the samurai). What is certain is that Masago was raped by Tajomaru; what differs is what happened afterwards and who killed Takehiko. You can read the story here.

Most of my classmates felt that it was Masago who killed Takehiko. They argued that perhaps both men loved her and wanted to protect the fact that she killed Takehiko. Others felt claimed he committed suicide to 'save face' as it was better than dying in the hands of a mere woman. Somehow, I have a feeling that my history class is very wary of woman, especially beautiful ones. HAHA.

We are supposed to determine who is the murderer and write an essay on it. This is very interesting, and different from the normal lessons that we have done. After searching it up, I found out that it was never the author's intention to have a real murderer. What he was trying to prove was that our initial guess of the murderer is shaped by our moral inclinations and biased judgements. As humans, it is very hard to see the REAL truth. This story serves to prove that. What one character says is always refuted by another. It is almost impossible to decided on a real murdered based on their testimonies. 

After reading that, I was dumbstruck. How do people ever come up with such novel methods to prove a certain point? I was very impressed by this. However, I felt stuck at the same time. How am I ever going to decide who is the real culprit? This is when the true objective of the project hit me. I was supposed to use my INVESTIGATIVE and ANALYTICAL SKILLS to help me argue for one of the character. The main point wasn't which character I chose. The objective was to see how I made use of the testimonies by the non-parties and general knowledge to prove that the character that I have chosen is the murderer. 

Perhaps I will put up my essay the next time, if I remember!

Anyway, I was interested and went to find out the statistics for my blog. Here are some:

Pageviews all time: 4,741

Pageviews last month: 153

Audience: Singapore (3,332), USA (726) - Wow, who reads my blog in the US?!, Russia (71) - I guess they google translate or something???, etc.

Post with highest views: tag (click here) Apparently someone quoted from my blog and it appeared in the straits times! HAHA. I still cannot find the newspaper article... Maybe I should do some searching now...
[updated] I FOUND THE NEWS HAHAHA!!! It's here. It was featured on The New Paper, Thursday, December 03, 2009.

"But netizen Sue Qin, writing on her blog, felt that some of the rules in the Chua household (featured on the programme) are overly-harsh, citing the ones forbidding sleepovers, boy-girl relationships and another rule which stipulates that the computer be in the living room so the parents can see what sites the kids are visiting.

She added, however, that most of the rules – like the ones against skipping school, smoking and alcohol – are “kinda expected”.

She felt that Singapore is conservative because we are made up of races which have their own strict traditions about raising children.

“While too much control is not good, too little control is also not good,” she wrote."

AHAHA, I ACTUALLY FEEL QUITE PROUD OF MYSELF. How old was I? 13? HEHE ;D

And I am going to end my blog post now! The most recent book that I've read is by Lauren Oliver. It's called Delirium. I'm giving it 4/5 stars! Overall, the story is really good, except for some sappy romantic parts which makes the book lose some of its adventurous 'feel'.

School... again!

Today is the second day of school, when lessons officially start.

Initially, the idea of lessons really put me off there. However, today was better than what I expected it to be. I thought that the lessons would be really drawn out and exhausting because it lasted until 4.15pm today. However, time passed surprisingly quickly, except for the first 2 hours which felt like forever then. 

My new chinese teacher is a female teacher called Ms Sau. She taught me CME before. I was quite disappointed when she did not recognise me when she named the students whom she knew, but then, I must admit I didn't make much of an impression when she taught me the other time. Chinese lesson was quite interesting. It was about this female author called Zhang Ai Mei. I think that's the name. Apparently, she's a prodigy, a genius. How envious! We were told her life story which was kind of sad and pitiful. She wrote so much books on love, but her life was far from blissful. However, I think the scars as well as the joys of her love inspired her to write such great short stories and novels. I wonder if I can ever be like that as well. 

Literature - Romeo and Juliet. A classic. Although I don't mind reading Romeo and Juliet, I would really like it if the school could arrange for us to study a modern play rather than a Shakespearean one. I recently watched this film "Closer" which is based on a play of the same name. It is a modern play written in 1997. The concept was pretty simple, but the way it was played out was really cool and interesting. It is about 4 people, with 2 couples who commit adultery. The play is supposed to highlight the degrading nature of love and marriage in the modern times. Really deep...

Oh yeah, I recently read a news that the new salary proposal for the Singapore government is out. Now, the president's salary will be lower than that of the prime minister, which is kind of weird as the president is thought to be the 'head of the state'. Hmm... Though I guess I welcome the new salary change (it is now lower). I mean, it means less tax money being given to them? Haha. Next, they should deal with the rising cost of... everything. I mean, I have no idea why but, if our SG dollar is getting stronger, then shouldn't the items here be sold at a lower price?? I don't really get the idea of inflation but I think I will probably learn about it in financial literary lessons next week :)) Looking forward to it!

I finally sent an email saying that I want to redraw from AEP. The teacher asked to meet me, Dion and Beatriz because we all want to quit. Ms Gao will be there (@_@). I am seriously scared that Ms Gao will interrogate us like those officers in the police station or something!

Anyway, I celebrated Christmas and my cousin, Irene's birthday recently!

Christmas was at my auntie's house. I cooked Aglio Olio!! :DD Everything was finished eventually; I was so happy!!! Previously, some of the chilli padi's juice got onto my fingers so my finger was burning all the way to my cousin's house. Though, my efforts were definitely paid off seeing how they all enjoyed the spaghetti! :) We also played several games like charades. We had a gift exchange session. My present was for Iris. It was posters of Super Junior since she loves a member in it. My present was from Ivy. It was a lovely brown bag! My friend, Shermaine, said it looked nice when I brought it to the 3K class gathering.

Irene's birthday was fun too! We watched Running Man, which was this variety show where some celebrities played a game like Police and Thief. It was very funny! My mom and I chose a dress for Irene as her present :))

There was a 3k class gathering as well to celebrate Christmas.

I planned a treasure hunt with Dion, Beatriz, Trevor and Randy initially. However, it was all for naught when some envelopes when missing and no one wanted to play D: I bought a bracelet for Shermaine and I got a photo frame from Jing Ying. Thanks! I also played bridge with Jalyn, Beatriz, Chun San, Miss Lim and Jaime. There was this really funny moment when Chun San lost and Miss Lim (who was trying to make noises to hint to him while sitting beside him watching him play) asked him why he played some cards the way he did. He answered, "I play by instinct." And then there was this funny laughing moment because we all know that you can't rely on instinct in a bridge game. Haha.

It's now 9.17pm. I should prepare for school tomorrow and go to sleep :))

I now realised that my minimum sleep hour has to be 8 hours or the exhaustion will accumulate and by Friday, I would be very worn out.

I shall do my NYAA during the weekends. Hopefully, I can complete skills and service by then!