Wednesday, January 8, 2014
Dreams
Firstly, I would like to talk about dreams in the form of ambitions and life goals. I watched The Secret Life of Walter Mitty this afternoon with my friends. Frankly speaking, I did not have high expectations of the movie before watching it. To me, a movie about delusions which would probably never come true did not seem at all appealing to me; furthermore, Ben Stiller is not exactly a perfect eye candy either.
However, the film managed to pleasantly surprise me. It was definitely not an Oscar winner or anything, but it was many things as well. It was actually rather funny (considering that Ben Stiller's funny is not usually my kind of funny), exciting, touching, and in many ways, inspiring. The movie definitely got me and my friends thinking about our own lives and dreams. Were we another Walter Mitty, simply living our lives without trying new, dangerous and courageous acts? Personally, I have felt that way many times in the past few years. I feel that I have not found my purpose in life. I do not feel the drive or motivation for something bigger, better. All I do is probably, day-dream. As I watch Walter Mitty go on a journey of self-discovery and in many ways, self-rediscovery, I wonder if I will ever be given an opportunity like him to do so? And if I never do, will I be brave enough to venture out of my comfort zone and unearth the opportunities lying in wait? The future is a terrible void which I am definitely very much afraid of - both of entering in, and of not entering in.
While me and my friends were on the topic of day-dreams, we moved on to the other form of dreams: dreams when we sleep. The conversation made me remember a dream I had rather recently which I thought had some form of significant meaning.
My dream
I was going to take my A-levels Maths examination. I entered the exam venue. I was carrying with me a cage containing my brother's hamster (my brother recently bought a hamster, for real. I can guessing this is why the hamster appeared in my dreams). For some strange reason or another, the centre actually had a corner for students to place their cages of pets while we took the exam. After placing the hamster there, I proceeded to check my seat number which was written on the whiteboard. Here is probably where the tension started.
I tried to decipher the handwriting; I took a guess at which number it was supposed to be. However, I had a hard time trying to remember my seat number despite four attempts to commit it to memory. I was feeling mildly nervous by this time before the exam. As I went to place my bag down, I bumped into someone. I unconsciously uttered "F***!" (I DO NOT usually say this in real life unless I am extremely emotional) The person who bumped into me did not apologise at all, which made me annoyed at his lack of manners. At this point in time, a strict male teacher went up to me regarding my use of language. I explained to him that I accidentally said the word. Furthermore, I pointed out that the person who bumped into me did not apologise. The teacher then spoke to the boy who bumped into me, and managed to get an apology out of him. After that, the teacher let the boy go, but continued to lecture me.
I tried to get him to know that I understood that I was wrong in saying the f word; however, I also wanted to let him know that I did not do so intentionally. The teacher either did not get the message, or was simply denying it. Either way, he kept pushing the subject further and trying the push the blame on me. I was feeling very frustrated because I felt he was making this unnecessarily serious. Compounded with the stress before an exam, I blurted out "What the hell." And apparently, this teacher was a Christian (no offence intended for what's to follow). Upon hearing this, the teacher got angrier. To the devout Christian that he was, the mentioning of hell as if it were something light make him furious. I immediately knew that I was wrong, but yet I could not hide the indignation that I felt in that dream. I started rebutting against him. To which, he started preaching about God and how my behaviour was 'unholy'. In that dream, I felt very upset. I felt it unfair that he was judging me based on his religious beliefs (this is probably because I am a free thinker). I got so emotional that I actually started crying.
I remember covering my face with my hands and asking, "Why are you doing this to me?"
At that moment, my dream ended because I knew I was dreaming the moment my hands touched my face. When I woke up, I was crying. For real.
~
I am not trying to imply anything about Christianity in this dream. It probably just so happened that the teacher was a Christian. Anyway, it has been a while that I actually cry in real-life in response to a dream. It happens sometimes, but it's been a while.
Either way, the underlying message about this dream is probably how one should not impose one's beliefs upon others. With regards to religion, it probably felt very oppressive to me as a free thinker to have to receive to a scolding based on religious presumptions which I might not agree with. It definitely felt unfair and wrong to the me in the dream. I felt wronged and misunderstood, so much so that I would actually cry.
Just a food for thought for everyone.
Dreams are important, whether real or imagined.
They give birth to confidence of ourselves.
Saturday, January 4, 2014
An Idea
Here's an idea I had while studying. I find typing out content from printed material annoyingly slow and painful. So here's an idea to design a device that allows the user to transfer text from printed material to an online format. Important sentences are often highlighted; so, when one spots something important, the user will use the device to highlight it. As the device highlights the words, the device will scan the alphabets and words and type it out automatically on the computer. This would be especially useful to students (AKA ME), more so when we make use of library books, where we cannot make highlights or marks on them.
So, someone good enough in the engineering department please help me construct this device so that I can use it hahaha,
Wednesday, December 11, 2013
Vietnam
Thursday, October 3, 2013
Ages
I havent been doing much lately. In fact, during the days when I was studying, I took every opportunity I could to do something 'forbidden', or in other words, not strictly studying-related. But still, those were the moments for which I could have some time for me to relax.
I have been pretty excited about the fact that Katy Perry is coming out with a new album. This happened during my pre- and during the promos period, which was some nice timing because it gave me something to look forward to and get excited for in the midst of all the boring studying sessions :)
I am gonna buy the new album when it comes out!!! :D
Anyway, how I spent my post-promos celebrations:
WITH HUIYI AND JIEYING.
Truthfully, I was a little hesitant at first because both of them looked so sad after the Maths paper, so I thought that going out to celebrate and do something would feel... weird? Wrong? Insulting? On one hand, I had friends who felt depressed over the paper; on the other, I was BURSTING WITH HAPPINESS after the paper ended! (I felt so hyper before the paper actually started that I couldn't stop smiling. Weird, but you could imagine my level of happiness that promos was ending.) However, I managed to get both of them to watch The Mortal Instruments with me in the end.
We ate at Paradise Inn, where we talked and laughed a lot - what happens when the three of us get together.
Afterwards, we rushed to Shaw Lido, thinking there will be seats, but in the end, only the first TWO rows were left. I was undecided because I HATED sitting in the front. However, I realised that if we just went home like that, it would seem wasted, so we decided to go ahead and watch the movie.
The second row wasnt that bad (since Shaw tends to have an elevated platform for all the seats). The movie plot was so interesting! The 3 of us were probably the noisiest in the cinema, judging by our comments/screams/laughter. Oh, and we found a new eye candy: Jamie Campbell Bower! He has this really exotic British look. Anyway, the movie was really unexpectedly enjoyable and I'm really glad we chose to watch it in the end.
I think that our 'celebration' went pretty well :) And I'm pretty sure their moods were also lifted! yay! :DD
By the way, I just finished this book called The Age of Miracles by Karen Thompson Walker.The book has an engaging and interesting plotline. The story is tinged with nostalgic, as many things that the narrator goes through become her last ever experience. A recommended read :)
Saturday, August 3, 2013
Pre-university seminar
Saturday, June 29, 2013
Hectic, and boring
Tuesday, April 23, 2013
PI
I had to change my topic at the very very last minute - although the content was basically the same, the way it was presented was different. Although I understand the purpose behind having the PI and PW component, I did felt rather frustrated at it because it was a long-term process that would undoubtedly cause some stress for us. However, PW in itself is a pretty good concept - emphasis on teamwork, consistency etc. I guess we just cannot have the best of both worlds.
Anyway, my PW experience thus far has been horrendous. Not to say that it was extremely terrifying or anything, but it did felt very different from anything that I expected. The question posed to us this year was also extremely different from the ones posed last year so we had basically, very little references that we could make use of.
Coupled with the fact that most of us just weren't sure of what to do and how to go about doing it.
Mine was a traumatizing experience because I started on a subject which I WAS interested in. However, as time went by and I started to do my PI, I started hating my subject because it was complex in strange manners. My PI was extremely hard to do because I felt like I had to address all these issues which were somewhat important for me to develop and define my scope. And yet, I could not find any ways to effectively define it. Instead my PI just got less and less clear.
Finally I changed my topic after discussing with my mum about potential topics. I was pretty satisfied with the topic because of my personal attachment to it due to some incident. I started doing on it and thought I was doing okay until it came to the proposal. I could think of nothing new. STUCK.
So, today, I consulted the teacher and she wanted me to keep the content, but change the topic/question. I was literally STUNNED. In my mind, I was screaming at her, "Now?! You want to change it now?!" It was the day before the submission. I was stunned and frantic because of her proposal. Although it did make my proposal abit clearer now (I guess), the way she put it across was just insensitive and shocking because it was just the day before. I mean, couldnt you have told me earlier? D:
But anyway, I have already done it. So I am just hoping for the best now! I did take a kind of nonchalant and heck-care attitude towards PI these past few days because of various things that were going on, but I guess I realised that I dont want to make the same mistake as I did for my HCL O-level.
Friday, March 22, 2013
Holidays... and BOOKS.
So... frankly, when I started reading Requiem, I was a bit lost because I read Pandemonium a few months ago and not every single detail of the book was fresh in my memory. Some weird names came up, and I just went 'Whatttt? Who's that?' My advice: It's okay, just go ahead, because as long as you know who the important characters are, the story can still go on pretty well.
The book is told from Lena and Hana's perspective, which makes for a very interesting plot. You see direct opposites of their lives (one is of the Wilds, the other is of the posh life of a wife-to-be of the mayor), however, there are also some similarities that come through as the book goes on. Both are dealing with personal struggles, and miss each other (whether unknowingly or not, especially for Hana). Anyway, I think it was refreshing for Lauren to put Hana's perspective across. I did talk about it in my review on my blog, so it was nice to see it happen :)
The book did feel a little slow in the beginning. I was actually more interested in Hana than Lena! Surprise surprise.What I did like was that Hana did not lose her zest. It was still there, just muted and hidden from everyone around her.Lena was much much stronger now. Physically, yes. Emotionally? Nah, not so much, although I'd agree that she went through some personal growth throughout the story.
Oh, and while reading the book, you would just be SO MAD and frustrated at Alex. Because he was something like a sourpuss in this book. Hm... Was that the wrong word to use? Anyway, he's so cold... and confusing. I know where he's getting at, but Lena doesn't, HELLOOO? Someone give a mind reader to Lena because that would make everything alright.
Anyway, the Julian-Lena-Alex thing gets on my nerves, ever since it had appeared on the last page of Pandemonium. I was DREADING the love triangle, and wondering why on earth did Lena fall in love with Julian. Couldn't there just be Alex, ONLY? The love triangle does complicate things a little, but I am glad that Lauren doesn't JUST focus on that, she did talk about other things that were going on in the resistance, which was what I really looked forward to in this book. There was also a lot more exploration about the concept of love and the irony of it, which I loved. The stories (Solomon and the weird guy who killed women) were also nicely woven in and created some depth in the story.
Most readers would probably find the book slow at first. Don't give up! Continue and the pace picks up. Especially towards the end, YOU WILL BE SKIPPING WORDS JUST TO FIND OUT WHAT HAPPENED. At least that was what happened for me! I was so EXCITED!!! It was like the grand finale! :DD Loved what Lauren did there = making me so anxious to find out what happened. Although I would have loved for Lena to play a more active role, like fighting/killing people, I guess it wouldn't be like Lena to do that either.
The ending was GOOD. SO GOOD. It did leave some uncertainty, but it was uncertainty at its best. You don't get a definite happy ending there, but you do know that somehow everything is going to work out fine.
Requiem did not disappoint me. It was a really exciting, well-written roller coaster ride that made me fall in love with the Delirium series again (especially after how I did feel abit disappointed after Pandemonium) :D
Really a great way to end off the series :)
~
So, overall, I really enjoyed reading those two books these past few days (around 3 to be exact). It renewed the sense of pleasure I got from reading books - I had almost forgotten what it felt like after months of reading TIME magazines and study notes. I think that I will always love books. No matter what :)
Now, it's time to catch up on my work!!!
Thursday, February 21, 2013
What happened recently
So, just an update on a few major happenings recently:
- Group proposal consider in SMU competition (yay!! was a close shave)
- Applied for Student Council - went for the SC boot camp
- Got rejected for SC
- Applied for OSAC
- Got rejected for OSAC
Sunday, January 20, 2013
SH orientation
Day One:
So, I was just feeling pretty grumpy on Day 1 because I have not changed my class yet and the prospect of having to interact with them made me feel miserable, I gotta be honest. I cannot remember much from Day 1 actually; all that I remember was that Day 1 was SUPER AWKWARD. I thought that maybe Xiyu would talk to me, but she didn't, which made me feel worse hahah. Attended lectures and mainly stayed with my ex-class.
Day Two;
Day 2 felt much more worse than Day 1 for me, mainly because there were so many free periods and I didn't know where to go since I couldn't exactly hang out with my 24 class. So, I just hung out with some of my ex-classmates (meaning desperately trying to find them every time I am free).
We did have some house ceremony where we were 'officially' welcomed into our various houses. Mine was Homa then. We did have this ice-breaking session where we literally had to break ice by melting a frozen shirt. I laughed a lot watching the 24 guys trying to melt/break the shirt by hitting it on the floor. LOL. It worked... to a little extent. HAHAH, it was mainly funny seeing them so anxious since the losing class had to do a forfeit which, I JUST remembered, they DID NOT DO. LOL. The house ceremony was kinda fun too, since we learnt Homa cheers which were pretty catchy :)
Day Three:
Things got better on Day 3, MUCH BETTER in fact. Since the whole day was filled with activities, it was pretty much a good chance to bond with our classes. It did feel a bit awkward at first, but I would say it got better. We had this class bonding time at first where we were at the auditorium. My class went to this 'secret place' (which I can't say haha). Anyway, the place is FREAKING cool, which made it a nice and special memory to have hahah. We took a picture! We were supposed to play bonding games there but the place proved too small/cram. So, we went out to the audi again lol.
Sprayed our hair and coloured our faces orange.
We then went to the hall for this mass dancing session which was actually pretty fun I guess. It was nice to see everyone actually trying to dance :D This doesnt usually happen because I remembered that during a mass dance session in y2, everyone was so shy! But this time, most people danced seriously :DD
After that was class lunch :) That was actually the first time where I actually PROPERLY got to talk to some guys, which was a nice opportunity :) I am more of the kind of person whom you have to sit properly in front of me for me to speak to you. I like to talk while sitting/walking side by side, but not while doing random stuff cuz it just seems uncomfortable to me haha.
After that was the games at Katong park! It rained at first, but it stopped so we managed to go out. yay! We went there and played at only one station LOL when it started to rain again, hahaha. Most of us got pretty wet cuz the rain was pretty heavy (I shared an umbrella with jingying so I wasn't that wet hee). While waiting for the rain to stop, we did this intro game where everyone had to sit opposite someone in one row. We'll talk for a while, then one person in one of the two rows would have to shift up, so you will get to talk to the next person. I talked to some of the guys, which was nice cuz like I said, I am more of the 'sit down and talk' type, so I got to know some of them slightly better.
After the rain stopped, we resumed our games :)) We actually won all of them LOL. And after that game, it was easier to talk to Xi Yu YAY hhahahha.
We were actually in a pretty high Homa mood (at least for me - amazing what one day can do). I think it was cuz our OGL taught us the homa cheers again so we knew how to cheer = cheer more = high homa mood.
In my opinion, Day 3 was very fun and I actually went home in a happy mood :)
Day Four:
I was actually looking forward to Day 4 with 24 since there was DOTA, meaning that the guys would probably wreck the other houses hahaha. But... when I went to school, someone told me that she heard I transferred classes. I was like huh??? I took out my phone to check my email using sch wifi and found out that I had like 3 smses congratulating me on my class change, and I was like WADDDD. I didn't even know about it, HOW DID YOU. LOL. So I checked and the email was sent last night, and I didnt know LOL. Can impt email not be sent at night, pls.
My new class was 21, the class which is very hyper (at least from what I saw). I went into my new class and kinda said goodbye to my old class (awkwarddd).
My new house was Drakon, which was kind of sad for me because I actually started liking Homa!!!! (aka started being loyal already). hahah. But anyway, I missed Homa but still wanted Drakon to win, since it's my house after all.
We had mass dance session, where I partnered Ying Xuan.
After that was Siege of the Empire. It was really fun! I stole 2 gold balls LOL, and killed a person HAHAHHAAH. Sounds damn violent but it wasn't really. hahaha. Anyway, we won for our game, but I heard we lost for the other (we had 2 ongoing games, divided by levels).
Then it was lunch. I played some games with my new class and got to know them better. They (specifically Joshua) were very funny hahah.
After that was our A-level Chinese results - such a spoiler! I got B3 LOL despite all the studying HAIZ.
Then, it was DOTA. DOTA was pretty fun, but VERY VIOLENT. I didn't actually participate in much action, which I regretted. But at that point of time, it seemed really scary to go over to the other side, seeing as what we were doing to those who were attacking us LOL. It was kinda like TACKLE WHOEVER COMES OVER. Scary ahhahaha. Anyway, my aim for next year is to go into the mud pool. LOL. Think I should at least try it once, hahahha.
Drakon got attacked a lot of times. Like around 6?? Thats a lot.
Day Five:
Last day of orientation. I forced myself to learn Drakon cheers on the way to school :D 21 wanted to meet up first to play captain's ball. It was pretty fun! :D Got a nasty scratch though. We then ate lunch, and went back to playing ball. But we played against some Homa people though, so it was like 21/Drakon vs Homa hahaha. Great game.
Then, we took class photos.
We then learnt our mass dance first, then played some mass games.
After that was dinner. We were in this DAMN HIGH MOOD. We kept cheering and cheering. The feeling was actually pretty awesome and cool! At the canteen, you could see this whole bunch of y5 drakon people cheering damn loud. We kept cheering until we got to our designated seating area LOL. I didn't actually know Drakon cheers were so addictive til then. There were some cheers where you could just get high and go wild! It was a good thing I learnt the cheers, because I was screaming my lungs out then! XD After we ate, some of my classmates starting teasing me, saying I was a betrayer of Homa and told me to go back LOL. Then they started chanting the homa go home cheer at me (telling me to go home), and THIS kinda sparked off the whole cheering war LOL. Cuz everyone started cheering homa go home along with them HAHAHAHA, for different reasons from them. The cheering war was easily the highlight of Day 5. Because you see people standing on chairs and tables, facing each other and cheering like crazy! FRIGGIN COOL. I heard someone video-ed it down, I WANNA WATCH AHAHAHHAHH.
After that, we continued our high spirits and went to the hall because it was raining = no campfire D:
We had the mass dance. Best house went to Homa, best house spirit went to Drakon!! We came in 2nd.
Then, the teachers announced that the campfire would continue, because the rain stopped. HURRAY.
We had performances at the track/field area. Towards the end, all of us started singing together and linking shoulders. Really memorable! :))
Overall, Unitas was a good memory! It didn't exactly started out as fantastic, but it ended well!