Wednesday, May 27, 2015

The Journey of Crossroads (Or Not)

The period of frantically applying for universities and scholarships is finally over.

My feelings throughout this period probably went like this:
Excited - Depressed - Apathetic - Hopeful - Resigned


Excited
It was the beginning of everything. I had gotten acceptance into a few UK universities (of which I was really keen on Warwick). I got offered the Nanyang Scholarship. I was going for a lot of interviews. Basically, there were many things going on and it felt like anything was possible, even the idea of possibly landing up overseas!


Depressed
However, harsh reality then set in after going for numerous rounds of interviews.

Here were a few that I went for and some of my experience (in case anyone's reading this in order to prep for future scholarship interviews):

CAAS
I only went for the first round. Overall, I thought that this was one of the more fun interviews I had. We were made to discuss certain issues and scenarios in a group. Luckily, I had nice members in my group, making the whole session much like a friend-making session rather than a competitive session. The only thing I could have probably improve was my oral skills. Having not spoken publicly for almost 4 months, it felt really difficult and unnatural for me to immediately get into debates and speeches.
Outcome: Rejected

PSC
Somehow, the entire PSC journey felt the most tiring to me. First, the psychometric test which I encourage everyone to take it as soon as possible; they are basically just MCQ questions.
Next, there was the 3 hour long psychological interview that felt the most torturous to me. If your answer was deemed to be not detailed enough/short, the psychologists would keep probing you. Although I get that they are supposed to probe in order to know you better, I thought the method of probing was rather vague and ended up making me feel frustrated as I tried to find out what exactly is the issue that they wanted me to answer. There were also times when I felt that I had nothing else to add on, but the psychologist continued probing. I was just wondering in my head, 'What else do you want me to add on? That's all there is to it!'
Next was the panel interview. The panel interview asked the weirdest questions. It's not that it's weird, but rather, everything was very hypothetical such that it made answering very difficult. They asked me about the moral values that a public servant should uphold. They also asked me about whether I would still go overseas if I had my own funds - basically, they were trying to insinuate that I might have the consensus that as long as it was government money, I was more willing to spend it without care/concern. They also asked why did I not choose Peking University even though I was from Dunman High.... (this question did annoy me a little) My interview was very short - less than 15 minutes only! This was compared to the person before me who took almost 25 minutes. An advice: please try to last about 20 minutes for panel interviews. Although people say that the duration does not matter as much as the depth of your answer, it does say something if they decide to cut the interview short as they are expected to fully assess where their investments go (aka you).
Outcome: Rejected (which was totally expected considering how my interviews went). Yet, at the end of the day, I did feel like I probably did not deserve it. I did not have a clear objective in mind when I went to the PSC Scholarship interviews. What was I going to do in PSC? Which ministry did I want to go to? Why PSC? Why public service? These are probably questions that everyone applying for PSC should try to answer. If you cannot answer any, then PSC is probably not for you, at least not yet. If that's the case, one should not bother wasting time applying for something you are not even sure about.

SIA
SIA's first round consisted of a series of written tests (time to brush up on your GP skills). There was also an interview in which they, again, asked me very weird questions:
- If you had your own funds (again!) to go overseas, would you still take up a scholarship bond? I replied no, saying that considering the risks (probably the wrong word to use) that I might not like my future job, it would be better to take the choice that avoids uncertainty. The guy interviewing me said that he agreed with my choice, but I think that answer probably left a less favourable impression of me.
- Do you think it's realistic for majority of the youngsters these day to go into their first company with the mindset that they will stay on for 6 years? Again, I said no, which was probably the wrong answer. I answered with the focus being on 'realistic'. No, it wasn't realistic according to statistics etc. However, after reaching home and asking my parents about it, it turns out I should have say something along the lines of: It may be unrealistic, but it's not impossible. As long as the company proves to be one that is willing to invest in the workers and provide opportunities for growth, it is not impossible for the young person to stay on for 6 years. 
Lesson: Always try to add anything negative you say with something positive. They are probably looking for someone optimistic and my reply probably didn't help my cause.
Outcome: Rejected

SMU
I basically went there without knowing it was scholarship interview; I thought it was an admissions interview, which would have been in a group, needing little preparation. I was very ill-prepared and answered questions very badly. Basically, I think it showed that I was practical. 
One of the interviewers asked me what my plan was. And I stupidly answered that if I got a scholarship from an organisation, I would go overseas. BAD ANSWER. Please, let no one ever make such as silly mistake as me.
Overall, I thought that I 'wasted' this interview because I absolutely had no preparation, both technical (reading up on SMU) or mental. My answers to their questions were mostly what I thought of on the spot, which tended to be very incoherent/ shoddy. Even I could tell I was obviously smoking my way through!
Outcome: No reply (Uni scholarships are a continuous process and they only offer it to the next best person if someone rejects it). But I am probably rejected.


Apathetic
MINDEF DMS
Mindef was probably the scholarship I wanted the most as I was really interested in being part of the organisation and contributing to policy work. 
Mindef's first round of interviews was the last few (it was near the end of April). By this time, I had already gone through so many interviews and rejections that I was feeling apathetic. "Whatever comes my way, shall come." I basically went in with that kind of mindset. Strangely enough, I think it was this mindset that made me perform better at the interview. I was quite calm during the interview and managed to do quite well, I would say. More importantly, they didn't ask questions related to funding (money questions), but questions on their organisation, my experiences etc. They even asked me what I thought about demolishing Lee Kuan Yew's house. This interview was probably one of my best.
Lesson: Stay calm and go in with a neutral mindset. This is probably the hardest lesson to put into practice though O_o
(More shall be continued later)

NUS
I went in with the same mindset as Mindef's first round scholarship. I went in and basically put what I learnt into practice. Be calm. Mention positive things when saying something negative.
I think I did pretty okay for it. They did ask me on what basis/ criteria would I choose between the 3 local unis, so the others might want to watch out for that.
Outcome: No reply


Hopeful
MINDEF DMS (continued)
I got invited to the second and final rounds of interview. This was when I thought that after all those rejections, there was actually a glimmer (?) of hope that I might be able to join MINDEF and go overseas (or even stay local because the idea of going overseas alone seemed scary at this point).
They would probably expand upon what you said in your first interview, along with your answers there and then. They asked me about what I thought regarding the policies towards South China Sea, since I mentioned it in one of my answers. I did think I was slightly more nervous compared to before. 
Outcome: Rejected. I was a definitely disappointed at being rejected even though I knew the chances of getting a MINDEF scholarship was extremely low. Still, the whole experience of going through the Mindef scholarship gave me a good impression and I might still apply for it as a job after graduating :)


Resigned
This is basically what I am feeling this week. 

After all the running back and forth to various locations (especially the West area), I am left with the Nanyang Scholarship (and NTU USP actually). 

There are also personal circumstances around me that changed, forcing me to basically limit my choices. Which I am actually quite upset about because I do not even get to choose amongst my local universities.
However, as a form of duty/obligation (? I have no idea how to even express why I do what I do), I need to choose the option which presents the least burden to the ones around me. I know that my family might not have pressured me in any way, but I am the type of person who cannot help but take certain issues into account. I guess I am left feeling disappointed because no one actually understands how I WANT to at least be given the choice to choose. Others might have felt relief that some of my options are closed, but frankly, that puts me off. 
Either way, even though NTU might not have been my first choice in the beginning, I am still going to enjoy my time there and make full use of the opportunities that my time at NTU would offer: lots of overseas exposure, staying at the newest halls, free tuition fees, USP opportunities and the experience of freedom/independence! 

I just really hope that my appeal to change courses gets through ._. Wish me luck!!!!

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Hello! Thanks for your inputs! they are really helpful! do you mind giving your email so that I can contact you to find out about some of these interviews? I am currently in the midst of applying now! thanks so much in advance!

Alternatively, you can contact me at yooshiinee@gmail.com