University Life

It has been approximately 3 months since I started university.

Here's a few of my thoughts on what university life entails after having experienced it for 3 months.

University life requires you to step out. After having been in the same school for 6 years, making new friends is a skill that one will have to pick up again. Taking the initiative to start conversations and trying to keep conversations going is something that one will have to go through again. Yet, I realise that it is going to be a necessary skill to have in the future when we go to the workplace, where most of the time, you might be coming into contact with new people 70% of the time. 

Staying in hall is also kind of socially exhausting. Although you are simply staying in your hall room, you will always feel the pressure to be out there, somewhere, doing something, with someone. You will probably feel this social pressure for the first few months, but you will eventually get used to it (especially when the work starts coming in; all you want to do is to mug in your hall).

Also, it is actually kind of important to go for camps. They are a really good platform for you to just meet people. They are often going to be the first point of contact for most people. Cliques/ groups are often formed during these camps. Even if one gets adopted into an existing orientation group, it doesn't mean that one will instantly become close with the other members of the group.

Lastly, discipline is really important. The many breaks in between the lessons may seem useless in the beginning; yet, you will realise their usefulness later on, especially with things such as hall activities and ccas later on. Go for lectures, because you can never trust yourself to complete the recording later in less than 2 hours (but then again, if you can, then that can prove to be a time-saving option). 

It is always important to remember your purpose for being in university. Sure, it is important to play and make friends. However, always keep your studies in mind. Much more so for me - 3.5 is the magical number. 

Ultimately, university has proved to be a very eye-opening experience for me. I wouldn't say that it has been a super fun journey (people tend to over-glorify the image of freedom and university). I would think that university is a very important transition period in one's life. Not just in terms of studies and 'freedom', but really in terms of social life. I am interacting with a lot of older people (guys are usually 21 years old in university + ex-poly students). You expose yourself to the constant need to interact with strangers (there are no more 'classes' per say) and to adapt (especially when university is pretty confusing). 

I sure hope that I turn out better from this university experience.

My Latest Obsession: SHINee Taemin

Given that this blog has weathered the storms of my ever-changing obsessions, whether they be Katy Perry, Christian Bale, Hyun Bin, The Killers or 30 Seconds to Mars, it seems given that I should blog about my latest obsession: SHINee, or more specifically Taemin.

Now the question on everybody's mind (literally, everybody that I inform - my friends (who were VERY amused), cousins (who were genuinely shocked) and family (my mum was just happy that I am idolising a guy)) is how did this all start?

About 2 months ago, I was watching MCountdown because there was nothing else interesting on the television that day. It also happened to be the day of Shinee's comeback. Given that I knew the existence of the group (due to Lucifer and Ring Ding Dong), I was mildly interested in knowing what their comeback was going to be like.
They first performed Love Sick, which I wasn't very impressed with.
Next was their performance of View, which really impressed me. Okay, it wasn't so much the performance as it was the song itself. View is a song with a deep house genre, which happens to be a genre I really like to listen to for English songs. Furthermore, the song View sounded clean. It's very hard to explain this concept, but basically, I have never really been obsessed with Kpop because it has always sounded very 'noisy', for a lack of better description. There are a lot of messy EDM elements, along with the lack of a catchy enough chorus, that make every song sounds the same as the other.
I was truly, very surprised to hear a Kpop song sound like that. In my mind, I was thinking that "wow, kpop has finally got to this level". And that piqued my interest enough to go onto Youtube to find and listen to the song View (on loop).

Along the way, I spotted Taemin's danger at the suggested playlist on the side. I clicked it and viola! Was I surprised by the whole image change of Taemin! I remembered him most recently then on Henry's Trap. His new image was really sexy and all grown-up (which I really liked!!).
Furthermore, Taemin's Danger was actually pretty catchy for me to add it to my playlist. The dance choreography was really impressive as well.
Next, I listened to an OST song he sang called U. That was then I decided that I really liked this guy. I had actually listened to U before (while watching To the Beautiful You), but didn't know it was sung by Taemin. And his voice while singing U is really good/smoothing.

So there you have it.

After obsessing myself over Taemin's solo album (yeap, I was 1 year late and missed all that), I decided to listen to Shinee's albums. Since Taemin was a member of Shinee, in order to listen to more of Taemin, Shinee was the only way to go haha. Basically, my like for Taemin developed into a like for Shinee.

And... Shinee turned out to be a group that really suited my tastes. Now, note that at this time, the last Shinee song that I listened to properly was Lucifer / Sherlock (which I didn't really like at that time). That was really long ago. 2013-2014 was my A-level study period so... yeap, I was also more obsessed with English music at that point due to Katy Perry's Prism.

Turns out that 2013 was a massive year for Shinee, with Dream Girl, Why So Serious and Everybody. After listening to their most recent albums (I kind of went backwards in my timeline with Shinee), I was genuinely surprised at the various genres present in their albums. I also really like their songs, which are slightly influenced by American pop I think.

The Misconceptions of You (Dream Girl album) was probably the first Shinee album that I fell in love with because it had a lot of catchy songs like Punch Drunk Love, Girls Girls Girls, Aside and Beautiful. Overall, it was a very good album to listen to if you were, like me, transitioning from US pop to Kpop.

Afterwards, I became more and more impressed with Shinee's vocal and dance performance. Yeap, they sing and dance live.

It helped that I was right in the midst of Shinee's comeback (Odd album) so there was always some new material/ performance at those music countdowns.

And now....  there is going to be a repackaged album for Odd (Married to the Music)!! Will I buy it?? Hmmmm probably hahaha. I shall see.

Anyway, I just thought this was interesting to share. This is a 2014 interview between Jonghyun and Taemin (both are members of Shinee) at Jonghyun's radio show called Blue Night. I guess it is because it is a talk between members, that's why the interview turned out to be quite insightful and meaningful with regard to the Korean music scene and the idol life.
[ENG SUB] 140818 SHINee's Jonghyun & Taemin - MBC Blue Night - Video Dailymotion

And that's all from a new Shawol and Taemint (yeap, that's what the fans call themselves haha).

Book Review: Grotesque by Natsuo Kirino

Book summary:

Tokyo prostitutes Yuriko and Kazue have been brutally murdered, their deaths leaving a wake of unanswered questions about who they were, who their murderer is, and how their lives came to this end. As their stories unfurl in an ingeniously layered narrative, coolly mediated by Yuriko’s older sister, we are taken back to their time in a prestigious girls’ high school—where a strict social hierarchy decided their fates — and follow them through the years as they struggle against rigid societal conventions.

Shedding light on the most hidden precincts of Japanese society today,Grotesque is both a psychological investigation into the female psyche and a work of noir fiction that confirms Natsuo Kirino’s electrifying gifts.

It's been a really long time since I did a book review. It's because I have been falling into a bad habit of stopping a book halfway through and not continuing it.
As such, Grotesque is the first book that I have managed to finished reading in these past 6 months.
That calls for a celebration, and a review, I suppose.

Grotesque's premise is without a doubt, extremely interesting. In fact, I borrowed the book from the library precisely because of its interesting premise, seeing as how I have been so bored with recent books that I gave up on finishing them.

The book is told from various perspectives: Yuriko's older sister (whom I have only realised at the end of the book, is unnamed), Yuriko (whose beauty is so great she could be regarded as a monster - I know this sounds ridiculous, but let's just go with it), Kazuo (a naive hard worker who is unfortunately slowly embroiled in prostitution) and Zhang (the murderer of Yuriko, and possibly, Kazuo).

Having the book told from different perspectives was really refreshing for various reasons.

First off, Yuriko's older sister is really annoying after a while. I probably would not be able to stand an entire book written in her perspective only. Yuriko's older sister is self-obsessed, inconsiderate and hypocritical. But then again, I guess this is all on purpose, as the book is essentially a study of characters and what drives them.

Having the book told from different perspectives also really put me into the minds of the characters. It allowed me to understand how they felt and why they did the things they do. The only 'diary' that I was truly skeptical about was probably Zhang's because it was written as a form of confession to be read out to court (where he was trialed). His accounts were also mis-matched with Kazuo's, though, that could also be explained by how things are interpreted and appear differently for different people.

Although I did not really understand some of the foolish actions some of the characters made, I did understand how it was possible for some of them to be so driven to do such extreme things. Some of them, like Kazuo, are very easily affected by things, such that they tend to magnify a single event and interpret it in exaggerated and warped ways. Though this may sound silly, I know that it is possible because I (and possibly most people) have experienced this before.

The characters take unreal actions that are guided by realistic emotions.

That is possibly the most interesting aspect of this book. Is it bravery/courage/stupidity/recklessness that drives them to express their emotions and vent frustrations in this way? Why won't normal people (like you or me) ever do something as extreme as the characters in the book? Is it because of the social norms? The difference in the circumstances surrounding us? The difference in the desperateness and despair of the situation?

The book offers an interesting look at how each character struggles to find some form of control and power over their own lives. Particularly, the book focuses on characters who are inevitably stuck in their fate and unable to crawl out.
For Yuriko, the fact that she is only pretty, with no other redeeming features such as brains.
For Yuriko's sister, the fact that she is always compared to Yuriko.
For Kazuo, the fact that no one acknowledges her hard work. Her hard work can never compensate for the world of power and connections.
For Zhang, the fact that he is a poor powerless immigrant, always scrimping and saving.
Some of them choose to embrace their innate fate (Yuriko), while others resist it in small ways (Kazuo and Zhang).

The book also has a few other notable characters with interesting developments: Kajima, Kajima sensei, Mizuki (not sure if this is her name.. haha)

All in all, the book was really interesting and mind-blowing (because of the way characters react).

The only disappointment was perhaps the ending of the book. It felt too rushed for me. There was also a lack of meaning behind the ending. Well, I guess it could have been reflective of how all the characters were all simply looking for a way to 'feel alive', whether in legal or illegal ways. However, the ending for Yuriko's sister did feel slightly awkward compared to the much more well-developed backgrounds of the other characters.

Rating: 6.5/10
Anyway, I recommend this book for bored readers (like me haha).
The plot is really interesting and the characters are intriguing enough. I could not help but sympathise with some of them. Read it for the characters rather than the plot, I guess.
However, it is only for mature readers (i.e. ages 16 and up) because of the material involved.

The Journey of Crossroads (Or Not)

The period of frantically applying for universities and scholarships is finally over.

My feelings throughout this period probably went like this:
Excited - Depressed - Apathetic - Hopeful - Resigned

Excited

It was the beginning of everything. I had gotten acceptance into a few UK universities (of which I was really keen on Warwick). I got offered the Nanyang Scholarship. I was going for a lot of interviews. Basically, there were many things going on and it felt like anything was possible, even the idea of possibly landing up overseas!

Depressed

However, harsh reality then set in after going for numerous rounds of interviews.

Here were a few that I went for and some of my experience (in case anyone's reading this in order to prep for future scholarship interviews):

CAAS

I only went for the first round. Overall, I thought that this was one of the more fun interviews I had. We were made to discuss certain issues and scenarios in a group. Luckily, I had nice members in my group, making the whole session much like a friend-making session rather than a competitive session. The only thing I could have probably improve was my oral skills. Having not spoken publicly for almost 4 months, it felt really difficult and unnatural for me to immediately get into debates and speeches.

Outcome: Rejected

PSC

Somehow, the entire PSC journey felt the most tiring to me. First, the psychometric test which I encourage everyone to take it as soon as possible; they are basically just MCQ questions.

Next, there was the 3 hour long psychological interview that felt the most torturous to me. If your answer was deemed to be not detailed enough/short, the psychologists would keep probing you. Although I get that they are supposed to probe in order to know you better, I thought the method of probing was rather vague and ended up making me feel frustrated as I tried to find out what exactly is the issue that they wanted me to answer. There were also times when I felt that I had nothing else to add on, but the psychologist continued probing. I was just wondering in my head, 'What else do you want me to add on? That's all there is to it!'

Next was the panel interview. The panel interview asked the weirdest questions. It's not that it's weird, but rather, everything was very hypothetical such that it made answering very difficult. They asked me about the moral values that a public servant should uphold. They also asked me about whether I would still go overseas if I had my own funds - basically, they were trying to insinuate that I might have the consensus that as long as it was government money, I was more willing to spend it without care/concern. They also asked why did I not choose Peking University even though I was from Dunman High.... (this question did annoy me a little) My interview was very short - less than 15 minutes only! This was compared to the person before me who took almost 25 minutes. An advice: please try to last about 20 minutes for panel interviews. Although people say that the duration does not matter as much as the depth of your answer, it does say something if they decide to cut the interview short as they are expected to fully assess where their investments go (aka you).

Outcome: Rejected (which was totally expected considering how my interviews went). Yet, at the end of the day, I did feel like I probably did not deserve it. I did not have a clear objective in mind when I went to the PSC Scholarship interviews. What was I going to do in PSC? Which ministry did I want to go to? Why PSC? Why public service? These are probably questions that everyone applying for PSC should try to answer. If you cannot answer any, then PSC is probably not for you, at least not yet. If that's the case, one should not bother wasting time applying for something you are not even sure about.

SIA

SIA's first round consisted of a series of written tests (time to brush up on your GP skills). There was also an interview in which they, again, asked me very weird questions:

- If you had your own funds (again!) to go overseas, would you still take up a scholarship bond? I replied no, saying that considering the risks (probably the wrong word to use) that I might not like my future job, it would be better to take the choice that avoids uncertainty. The guy interviewing me said that he agreed with my choice, but I think that answer probably left a less favourable impression of me.

- Do you think it's realistic for majority of the youngsters these day to go into their first company with the mindset that they will stay on for 6 years? Again, I said no, which was probably the wrong answer. I answered with the focus being on 'realistic'. No, it wasn't realistic according to statistics etc. However, after reaching home and asking my parents about it, it turns out I should have say something along the lines of: It may be unrealistic, but it's not impossible. As long as the company proves to be one that is willing to invest in the workers and provide opportunities for growth, it is not impossible for the young person to stay on for 6 years. 

Lesson: Always try to add anything negative you say with something positive. They are probably looking for someone optimistic and my reply probably didn't help my cause.

Outcome: Rejected

SMU

I basically went there without knowing it was scholarship interview; I thought it was an admissions interview, which would have been in a group, needing little preparation. I was very ill-prepared and answered questions very badly. Basically, I think it showed that I was practical. 

One of the interviewers asked me what my plan was. And I stupidly answered that if I got a scholarship from an organisation, I would go overseas. BAD ANSWER. Please, let no one ever make such as silly mistake as me.
Overall, I thought that I 'wasted' this interview because I absolutely had no preparation, both technical (reading up on SMU) or mental. My answers to their questions were mostly what I thought of on the spot, which tended to be very incoherent/ shoddy. Even I could tell I was obviously smoking my way through!

Outcome: No reply (Uni scholarships are a continuous process and they only offer it to the next best person if someone rejects it). But I am probably rejected.

Apathetic

MINDEF DMS

Mindef was probably the scholarship I wanted the most as I was really interested in being part of the organisation and contributing to policy work. 

Mindef's first round of interviews was the last few (it was near the end of April). By this time, I had already gone through so many interviews and rejections that I was feeling apathetic. "Whatever comes my way, shall come." I basically went in with that kind of mindset. Strangely enough, I think it was this mindset that made me perform better at the interview. I was quite calm during the interview and managed to do quite well, I would say. More importantly, they didn't ask questions related to funding (money questions), but questions on their organisation, my experiences etc. They even asked me what I thought about demolishing Lee Kuan Yew's house. This interview was probably one of my best.
Lesson: Stay calm and go in with a neutral mindset. This is probably the hardest lesson to put into practice though O_o

(More shall be continued later)

NUS

I went in with the same mindset as Mindef's first round scholarship. I went in and basically put what I learnt into practice. Be calm. Mention positive things when saying something negative.

I think I did pretty okay for it. They did ask me on what basis/ criteria would I choose between the 3 local unis, so the others might want to watch out for that.

Outcome: No reply

Hopeful

MINDEF DMS (continued)

I got invited to the second and final rounds of interview. This was when I thought that after all those rejections, there was actually a glimmer (?) of hope that I might be able to join MINDEF and go overseas (or even stay local because the idea of going overseas alone seemed scary at this point).

They would probably expand upon what you said in your first interview, along with your answers there and then. They asked me about what I thought regarding the policies towards South China Sea, since I mentioned it in one of my answers. I did think I was slightly more nervous compared to before. 

Outcome: Rejected. I was a definitely disappointed at being rejected even though I knew the chances of getting a MINDEF scholarship was extremely low. Still, the whole experience of going through the Mindef scholarship gave me a good impression and I might still apply for it as a job after graduating :)

Resigned

This is basically what I am feeling this week. 

After all the running back and forth to various locations (especially the West area), I am left with the Nanyang Scholarship (and NTU USP actually). 

There are also personal circumstances around me that changed, forcing me to basically limit my choices. Which I am actually quite upset about because I do not even get to choose amongst my local universities.

However, as a form of duty/obligation (? I have no idea how to even express why I do what I do), I need to choose the option which presents the least burden to the ones around me. I know that my family might not have pressured me in any way, but I am the type of person who cannot help but take certain issues into account. I guess I am left feeling disappointed because no one actually understands how I WANT to at least be given the choice to choose. Others might have felt relief that some of my options are closed, but frankly, that puts me off. 

Either way, even though NTU might not have been my first choice in the beginning, I am still going to enjoy my time there and make full use of the opportunities that my time at NTU would offer: lots of overseas exposure, staying at the newest halls, free tuition fees, USP opportunities and the experience of freedom/independence! 

I just really hope that my appeal to change courses gets through ._. Wish me luck!!!!