A-levels

Since this blog does function as some kind of diary of mine, I thought I should just dedicate a blogpost to one of my life's important milestones.

I finally got back my A-level results on 3 Mar 2015, Monday.

It was a little nostalgic to be back in school after all those time (actually, it has only been 3 months).

Anyway, after all that tension and waiting, I finally got my results and it was the best that I could have hoped for. I got 6 distinctions!! (I got a B for Higher Chinese - a lasting mark on my results that was made 2 years ago) I was obviously very happy and relieved, seeing how I was nervous a few hours before, wondering if I unknowingly screwed up somewhere in my papers.

Ultimately, there were definitely some people who were happy and some who were sad.

Yet, the A-level journey has finally had its official closure and is over.

In the future, we will probably look back and realise that this episode of our life was no more than a mere episode. However, both you and I know that at this moment, it is more probably the biggest thing in our lives. So, I think it's fine if anyone want to brawl their eyes out now. Because you deserve the right to do so. Just remember that while this is most definitely a milestone, there are still many more to come.

Which also leads me to my next note to self: there are many more milestones; you cannot start slacking off now.

And now... off to write applications for scholarships and universities!

Making the most out of time

It has already been 2 months into the holidays since my A-levels ended. Amidst the Chinese New Year fervor, I have been reflecting upon what I have been doing the past few months.

I still remember the huge list of things that I wanted to get done during the A-levels. Funny how not much on that list has been accomplished. This happens for various reasons, with the most common being:

1) I am not free (since work has pretty taken up all my weekdays)

2) I have no money (which explains why I have to work)

3) I am simply too lazy

Reason no. 3 was the most surprisingly, and yet, predictable reason that I could have seen myself giving during A-levels actually. Ironic though. One gets so excited for something; yet, when the time comes to really do it, all that steam seems to have blown off, leaving one simply too lazy to move our butts off.

After chatting with Zixin, she told me that I had to plan things properly and really set out to do them, or else, this chance/ time will simply go by without one noticing. Kudos to Zixin for always giving me advice that shakes me up/ gets me moving. After thinking it through, I realised she was right. In a flash, 2 months had already gone by. I needed to stop being caught up in the drone of the working life. 

Which is why, I forced myself to commit to things which I have always been putting off. I started running/jogging. I am now telling myself to do it twice a week. 

AND I STILL HATE JOGGING. However, with the bus fares so high for adults, jogging simply is the cheapest form of exercise one can find.

I have also signed up for Chinese painting classes. I actually thought the classes for NAFA were quite interesting but apparently, I missed the sign up date for the Jan intake :( So, I am currently attending classes from Vision Art Studio at Clarke Quay. Today's going to be my first lesson and I hope it goes well!

After all that's said, something else that I really want to do is TRAVEL.

I want to go to Japan, but no one is willing/ has the money to go with me D:

Honestly, I wouldn't mind going by myself haha, but being adventurous still has its limits, especially in a place I have never been to before. I really hope that by hook or by crook, I will be able to get into Japan to experience the culture etc!

On a side note, work is the same. Although, I do get to learn a few things, such as the time frame for applying for a work permit. Seeing how people react in a workplace is quite interesting as well; though I would rather be left out of some of the politics going on as well haha.

...A-level results are going to be out in around 2 weeks. *nervous*

I want to be with people my age

After starting work, being constantly surrounded by people older than me, I am starting to feel a little lonely and out of place.

I remember once reading an article that talked about why teenagers of this generation are narcissistic and other horrible adjectives. It said something along the lines of, how can one expect a teen who constantly surrounds oneself with people of his/her own age to mature without listening to viewpoints from adults? I remember myself nodding my head in slight agreement when reading that particular comment.

And yet now, I dearly miss the companionship of people my age who, according to the author, probably talk about stupid/ irrelevant things.

I think that it is hard not to feel out of place with adults surrounding a young person. There is just something about the age difference that makes it inherently difficult to relate on certain issues. I mean, the 10s and the 20s have A LOT of difference, even when I am 19, just one year shy from 20.

People in their teens: Studying, probably obsessing over music/ fashion/ idols

People in their 20s: Start dating (seriously), working (permanently), finding a house, having kids (?!)

While the author is probably right in talking about how I would probably mature more from talking to adults, I would like to confine that interaction to a certain time period, kind of like how I get a sneak peek into the adult world without fully plunging myself into it (that can wait till I am in my mid-20s).

At the end of the day, my main point is: I WANNA HANG OUT WITH FRIENDS MY AGE AND NOT HAVE TO CARE ABOUT WHAT I TALK ABOUT.

And..... I am going to do just that! I've got a dinner date with Huiyi, Dion and Shermaine tomorrow night. Can't wait to start acting all teenager-ish.

the future

I just had a gathering with a group of close friends yesterday. Though there were probably some incidents along the way, overall, I had a lot of fun. We had steamboat (we bought too much food) and talked about random stuff. While chatting, somehow the topic of our future love interests kept coming. Though it will probably be something that all of us with interact sometime, it still feels very distant and alien to someone like me who has zero dating / falling in love experience. 

We predicted what characteristics our future boyfriends would possess and questioned a lot of possible scenarios that may happen. It was a lot of fun, but it also made me feel weird, because everything just still seems so far-fetched. I think it is the effect of being in the same school for 6 years; somehow, I feel as if time is standing still and that I have not grown up to be an 'adult' yet. (Speaking of which, I really hate adult fare prices for public transport.) The idea of going to school is still very familiar to me. Frankly, it is also the thought of the familiar that makes me afraid of the thought of the unknown - university, new friends, workplaces, colleagues. Somehow, I do feel like I want to be stuck in this continuum forever.

Which also leads me to talk about my applications for universities and scholarships. There is a scholarship which I am really interested in and I really hope that I will be able to get in for it. Yet, the fear of disappointment always looms (not that it stops me from trying). Somehow, previous disappointments still hang around in my mind and I have always had some inclination towards pessimism ever since then.

I can only do my best and hope that everything goes well.

And that my friends will always be a constant :)