Reaching the goal...

I conquered Chemistry and History papers today!

I was pretty worried for History because I only read on some readings, and frankly speaking, I would have died without my cheatsheet! (For your info, the cheatsheet is allowed! So it is not really cheating!)

I am only left with Maths 2 and Physics - which are pretty okay for me except Trigonometry 3. I was INITIALLY FEELING OKAY about Trigo 3 until everyone in the class started doing the revision worksheet and asking me question on how to do this and that. That started freaking me out - because I did not finish the worksheet. 

One feels calm when one is prepared.

Therefore, I shall ATTEMPT to finish (highly unlikely) to finish the trigo revision worksheets.

Just two more steps (papers) and I WILL BE FREE!! NIKE~

(Note: This guy ran this really long marathon and shouted 'Nike!' at the end - ring any bells?)

Meanwhile, I re-read this mange series called "Ao Haru Ride". 

It's not finished yet - it's translated til Chapter 16. For those of you who find the characters looking really familiar, it is from the same author as "Strobe Edge"!

Strobe Edge really really pleased and surprised me a lot so I was pretty happy to find that she had started on another manga - Au Haru Ride. If I am not wrong, it means the journey of youth (or something along that line). The characters are really well-drawn once again :))

Anyway, I like how this author really goes in-depth into the character's feelings. YOU REALLY SEE THEM DEVELOP. I mean, really. As compared to some other mangas that ARE SO SEEMINGLY SUB-STANDARD NOW uh. In fact, I wonder how she manages to capture the feelings of the characters so well. It's like I can really picture myself feeling like that in that situation - that's how good it gets.

Oh, and Oresama Teacher is JUST SO DAMN FUNNY. 

I think I love how the author for this manga HINTS something, but never really lets it get blown up. It's like there's this tinge of romance, but romance is never the main thing this manga is pushing for. 

And this manga is actually quite suitable for guys because there is FIGHTING. AND IT IS FREAKING AWESOME BECAUSE THIS GIRL IS ACTUALLY FREAKING PRO. She can fight so many guys! (I know it's unbelievable, but in manga, anything can happen.) And it's really nice to see a girl who can ACTUALLY fight for a change - not like those wimpy main characters that always cry.

So Oresama Teacher is becoming one of my favourite manga series :DD

The drawings can get pretty annoying sometimes (I remember I picked it up BEFORE, saw the first chapter and dropped it. Then I PICKED IT UP AGAIN BECAUSE OF AWESOME REVIEWS OF IT) but just keep reading it and it gets better, and you get used to it! :DD

The drawings are good now by the way x)

I am also REALLY LOOKING FORWARD TO THE AVENGERS, DARK SHADOWS and many many other good movies :DD

The Avengers - seriously anticipating it! IT HAD BETTER BE GOOD. I'm looking out for Captain America, Thor and Black Widow (she rocks!).

Dark Shadows just seem interesting because of Eva Green :D

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By the way, today's my BIRTHDAY :D

Gonna eat pizza later! :))

childhood

I ate Macdonald's with a group of friends from 4K today because we wanted to finish the mac vouchers that we won from the financial lit class quiz :)

We really had quite a good time I think (at least from my point of view). We chatted and laughed a lot - thanks to Dion!

Oh, just to mention, I am currently having my common tests. I had Language Arts and Chinese yesterday and it's Math 1 and Literature today. The tests were relatively okay, except LA simply because it was the first test and because I did not have enough time (frustrated). 

But it's over! So there's not much I can do for it already :))

Anyway, when going home today, Shermaine and I saw this small kid (a boy) who was let's see, 1 year old? I am not very good at judging a child's age. However, he was adorable and tiny. I think he can barely speak. He was able to walk though. When we walked into the train, the boy just started smiling at Shermaine and I in a very mischievous manner which was cute at the same time. 

After Shermaine left, I was left in the train alone. I continued staring at the boy.

He was fiddling with his grandpa's fingers. When their station arrived, the boy clutched his grandpa's hand, which was too big for his tiny hand. He then reached out and held his grandma's pinky. In doing so, he lost grasp of his grandpa's hand. Eventually, he resorted to holding his grandma's pinky finger and his grandpa's fourth finger. 

I have no idea why but I was captivated by this whole process.

No matter what, the little boy was going to walk out of the train holding both his grandpa and grandma's hands. Despite the tiny fingers he had, he held onto them tightly. 

I continued watching them as the doors closed.

And suddenly, I had this overwhelming urge to cry. 

It was really unexpected. Even as I am typing this, the feelings come rushing back all at once and my eyes tear.

I think it was the feeling of nostalgia. Looking at that little boy, I started to wonder if I was like that once, holding onto my grandparents' hands so tightly. I wondered if I ever held my grandparents' hands that tightly. This is especially important because my grandpa passed away when I was... primary 4? I am not sure. My memories of them are very faint, simply because they are the memories of a child.

I started to wonder if I had actually cherished them and let them know that they were important to me, just as that boy had done with the simple act of holding their hands.

Looking back, I really hoped that I did. Because then I would not have any regrets. The only time when you get to express your true emotions without fear of anything is when you are still clueless about the world, when you are still a child. I hoped that I had shown them that I did indeed treasure them, because I dare not show such feelings now.

When you get older, expressing your feelings become harder, more difficult.

And most of all, I wished for myself to be that little boy.

I wanted to go back to my childhood days. I craved for it there and then.

When you grow older, you start to realise the realities of the world around you. You start being burdened. You start being oppressed. You start being less happy.

I wanted to go back in time then. 

And as I held back my tears in the train, I realised that some things just cannot be done.

Too much on too little

To follow up on my previous post, I have watched the Hunger Games! :D

It was quite good (info: I have not read the book then yet). Katniss was really good (I'VE LOVED HER EVER SINCE X-MEN FIRST CLASS) and Peeta was much more likeable than Gale.

And yes, Gale was ugly and technically useless in the movie. He only appears for let's see, less than 30 minutes and he is listed as one of the main characters. Seriously?! I mean, even Haymitch and Effie had much more scenes, and important tasks to deliver than him. However, I kind of understand because the book is like that. But the order of the names during the credits just pisses me off, still. I mean, he was in the first three names to appear (WHAT.) 

So, on to the main topic. 

Singapore is way too overcrowded.

I just realised that this morning when I was taking the train to school. I took it during the peak hour. At Kovan station, only three(?) people could get into the train carriage. THIS, despite the fact that we have already moved in to the centre of the train cabin, etc. 

SERIOUSLY. PEAK HOURS JUST MEAN PACKED TRAINS, BUT NOT SITUATIONS WHEN SOMEONE CANNOT GET INTO THE TRAIN.

I was really bewildered at that and just thought, "When is enough enough?"

The government said 4 million some years back, and now, it's 6 million. I mean, look around you, how are you actually going to squeeze 6 million people into Singapore, PERMANENTLY. Not to mention those who are staying here temporarily.

I mean, Singapore has 704km2 of space. That means each of us (6 mil) will get about 117.333m2 of space. If I square root it, it will become 10.832m. That would mean that each of us gets a square of about 10m in length! That's still quite a lot, but imagine what happens when MORE people come in!

Look at Australia, they are how many times our size, and look at how many people they have! I think they have only 3-4million people!

I am not being anti-PAP here. I just hope that the government will know when is enough enough.

There is a limit to the amount of land you can reclaim.

There is a limit to the amount of buildings you can build on land.

There is a limit to the population of people you can put on Singapore. 

Furthermore, there are also SO MANY MRT BREAKDOWNS recently. The problem of overcrowding is further highlighted during such situations. Look at the amount of people that are already on the train platform when two trains are missed!

Either that, or they increase the number of trains. I remember that I read somewhere, (one of the most liveable cities) had trains that arrived every 60 secs! IMAGINE THAT. 

Okay, enough about ranting here.

Something also happened last/this week that really got me irritated as well D:<

It has something to do with a project... I should probably blog about it later on this year (after people have forgotten about it :P)

Common tests are coming and I have gotten nothing done yet...

SEE! TOO MUCH AGAIN. TOO MUCH EDUCATION - HAHAHAHA! 

Bonding

I had a little bonding session with Siyun, Shermaine, Xue Chun and Dion today. We went to queue for Free Cone Day today. The queue was astounding as always!

We queued for slightly more than one hour. Our legs were all aching because we had PE previously and some of us ran several rounds around the track. (I ran three, and was worn out already) The process was actually quite torturous and tiring. Some of us were starving and it was obvious that our level of enthusiasm was getting lower by the minute. However, as we neared the ice-cream booth, we got visibly excited.

OUR HARD WORK PAID OFF AND WE GOT THE FREE ICE-CREAMS.

I chose some triple caramel with fudge flavour which was okay although I think the big chocolate bits were quite irritating because I like ice-cream without any additional stuff that requires me to bite through it. Just ice-cream by itself would be good :)

Siyun then left while Sher, Dion, Xuechun and I headed to Popeyes. We are such gluttons! :P

The dinner was really fantastic because we really got to know more about each other. We also laughed a lot at some of our funny incidents. I had this really bad laughing session that could not stop - thanks to Dion! I LAUGHED TILL MY RIBS HURT - THAT WAS HOW BADLY I LAUGHED. 

With our stomachs filled, we went home happily :)

Dion, Sher and I talked some more on the way home - shoot, shag, marry and kill, burn, torture! HAHA. 

I just realised that I am kind of the last to leave.

First there was Siyun, Sher, Dion, Xue chun and I.

Then there was Sher, Dion, Xue Chun and I.

Next there was Dion, Sher and I.

Finally there was Sher and I.

Lastly it was just me.

HAHAHAHAHA. This (^) just dawned on me LOLOL.

But not every happy day ends happily. I was reminded of some unhappy things on the way home and it kind of dampened my spirits again zzz. 

But still, really thanks to the people mentioned who made my day today really fun and interesting! We suffered and enjoyed together! It has been so (quite) long since I had such heart to heart talks about topics that really interested me. It was kind of liberating in a way :)

Looking forward to the Hunger Games tomorrow :D

April

March is over and April is here.

How time flies.

The subtleties of every day creep onto you,

Eat away at you,

Consume you,

And become who you are.

I think I have changed.

Somehow, somewhere,

Inside of me,

I have changed.

But the change is slow,

Ever-changing,

Looming,

I never know when it happens.

I never know where it happens.

Have I changed for the better?

Have I become a better person,

A better citizen,

A better student,

A better friend,

A better daughter,

A better me?

I do not know.

I ask myself this question every year, on a special day.

I think I will ask myself that question again this year, as I marvel in that one day's speciality that is only known to me, that is only truly treasured by me.

Only time will tell.

And with time comes change.

As time passes,

Memories,

Emotions,

and the vibrancy of colours fade.

I will probably forget that I ever wrote this.