Religion... and other stuff

Since I am too lazy to post many blogposts on different subjects, I shall just have everything under this one blogpost.

Let me go onto the subject of "other stuff" first. I just read Huiyi's blog (which was funny HAHA), and I saw her post about dreams/nightmare, and I was reminded of my own nightmare, which I told Dion and Shermaine when I went out to study with them.

The nightmare went like this:
Somehow, Ryeowook from Super Junior was in this freaky nightmare LOL. He was training for standing board jump (which is weird because who trains so hard for that). He even has a coach for it -.- Then, when it came to the point where he was supposed to jump, ryeowook's face changed into that of an old uncle. Yep, which was I guess better after you read what happened next. The old man tried to jump, then he tripped while landing, and his legs broke. HIS LEGS FREAKING BROKE INTO TWO PIECES. That is just so scary!!!! It was as if his legs were clay or something, and it just... broke. It might not sound much here but I saw it in the dream and it really gave me the freaks. There was no blood though (luckily).

So there, my weird nightmare which is so freaking scary.

And I went to USS with Shermaine, Zixin, Dion, Joelle, Cherlyn, Beatriz, Sheryl and Xue Chun on Thursday :) Had great fun though I really wanted to sit on more rides. I guess our priorities were different. Like for those who it was their first time there, they really wanted to take many pictures; the scenery was their main focus. But for me who has been there before, my focus was the rides, not so much the scenery. My personality was also one which defined a trip to the USS by the number of rides I took. So different people had different priorities. But the trip was still a good one :) I sat on both the human and cylon battlestar roller coaster. I felt the human one was much more scarier because there were a lot more deep falls, which made me feel like my heart was dropping. Cylon just had more turns and spins, which were technically, less scary.

Okay, now onto the topic of Religion. Okay, I know that this is gonna be very very sensitive. So to anyone out there who's gonna take offence at what I say, just think that whatever I say is total crap and bullshit; please do not take this the wrong way.

So, I wanted to blog on this topic because my grandma has been 'praying' (not sure if that is the word) for my face to have less pimples (which just gets me annoyed because that is what all my family is talking to me about these days, even my dad!!! PLEASE JUST STOP TALKING TO ME ABOUT MY FREAKING FACE. rant over.). She's a Christian by the way. I was okay with that because I mean, that was a way for her to show her concern over me, or more specifically, my face.

The turning point came when she asked me to pray for myself!!! Which is just weird, for me. She told me to hold my hands to my face and pray to God, saying that he is a great doctor, and asking for him to 'fix' my face. I dunno... but to me, it felt like an indirect way of telling me to believe in Christianity and God. I know that that was not my grandma's intention but it felt like that nonetheless.

The reason why I felt uncomfortable was because I was a free thinker. I mean, I've always thought I was Buddhist/Taoist until I asked my mum. Apparently, my father is a free thinker, so am I. I think that being a free thinker suits me fine. To quote my dad, "I am too cynical." To clarify: I am not an atheist.

True, I was born a free thinker, but I would also choose being a free thinker (I did not know there was such a thing. I thought we all had to believe in some kind of religion when I was young, so I was kinda glad there was such a thing called a 'free thinker'. lol). It's just hard for me to imagine there being a definite god. I believe that there might be some supernatural or more powerful force than ourselves, but I don't exactly think that we can label it as god. Luck, chance, coincidence?? These are not really 'gods', but these are some other worldly forces that also control us in some way. It's hard for my mind to reconcile it in the manner that some do.

However, I am definitely leaning towards the Buddhist side. This is partially because my mum is a Buddhist so I have been visiting temples with her a lot since young (which explains why I thought I was Buddhist). I guess that way of 'thinking' and 'believing' has been embedded in me since young.

I guess in the end, all religion will want us to do good. That's something synonymous with all religion (at least, so far from what I know) and I think that should be the main focus of religion. Not whether there is a god or not.

Ultimately, I think that we, as humans, should believe in ourselves more than any other creature/ thing/ god. We are the ones that are going to make it possible, not anybody else. Our actions are what makes the difference (implying that if I put more cream/stuff on my face more regularly, my face will get better - LOL, WEIRD EXAMPLE HERE).

I am not here to say that either of us are wrong or right. We are all entitled to our beliefs, as long as they make us believe in life and hope, and make us feel good. I think that there is no wrong or right regarding these things, so keep an open mind.

Who knows? Many a few years later you will see me blogging a post about why I believe in a certain religion.